- Bill Maxwell: [With emphasis] Ralph, this is Robert Alan Kline.
- Ralph Hinkley: Bill, I don't care if the guy knows James Bond! He can at least be polite!
- Bill Maxwell: He *is* James Bond, Ralph. Can you get that? Now put a lid on it, before I wind up working in a parking lot.
- Ralph Hinkley: I get so angry Bill, these guys treat us like we're a couple of amateurs and we're the only two people up here that can crack this thing.
- Bill Maxwell: Yeah. C.I.A. stands for creeps in action. If they just open up with the info, we could crack this thing like an Easter egg.
- Ralph Hinkley: Boy, is this a great day? I get to watch some of the best skiers in the world compete in the World Cup downhill, and you get to watch me.
- Pam Davidson: Ralph, come on. It was the suit. It wasn't you. You never skied that way before in your life. I don't think anybody had. And I think I'm gonna collapse. Can we take it easy?
- Ralph Hinkley: Well, I'm just having fun on the old boards, you know.
- Pam Davidson: It was the suit, Ralph.
- Ralph Hinkley: It was not the suit, Pam. We don't know the suit can ski.
- Pam Davidson: Then why are you wearing it?
- Ralph Hinkley: Because it keeps me warm. Do you know how much ski clothes cost today?
- Pam Davidson: Tell me about it.
- Ralph Hinkley: Well, I'm saving up for my Jaguar.
- Pam Davidson: Oh, yeah, the Jag.
- Ralph Hinkley: Don't start that now. Come on. You know my station wagon is all beat to heck, and a Jaguar is a good car.
- Pam Davidson: Hey, hon, I think it's terrific. I've always wanted to date a guy who drove a Jaguar.
- Ralph Hinkley: Come on. This man did not die from a heart attack.
- Fred Blandin: Look like it might have been congenital. You know, he probably over trained. So I would appreciate it if you would keep what you think you saw just between us. Otherwise I'm gonna have to put you on a plane to D.C.with a booking sheet pinned to your shirt.
- Pam Davidson: On what charge?
- Fred Blandin: Felony trouble making. How's that sound?
- Ralph Hinkley: Sounds like the '60s to me.
- Samantha Brice: Ralph! Those look like sealskin boots. That's endangered species, Ralph.
- Ralph Hinkley: Sam, this are not real sealskin. Endangered Naugahyde maybe, but, uh, that's about it.
- Bill Maxwell: I see you finally sprung for those sealskin booties you wanted, Ralph.
- Ralph Hinkley: Uh, they're not real sealskin, Bill. They're fake. Samantha, really. These are recycled fur.
- Bill Maxwell: Go great with the Jaguar anyhow.
- Samantha Brice: Jaguar? Ralph, you're not gonna get a jaguar coat, are you?
- Bill Maxwell: Uh, no, you don't wear it, honey. You drive it. It's a little red job, pass anything except a gas station.
- Ralph Hinkley: What? I love the color red.
- Bill Maxwell: It's your best color, Ralph.
- Bill Maxwell: That's hot wine. Come on. Don't they have something with some teeth in it?
- Pam Davidson: The body's a temple, Bill.
- Bill Maxwell: It is? Oh. Well, if I said a prayer, could I get some teeth in it?
- Bill Maxwell: Is that coffee that I smell? A cup of crank would really bring me back to life.
- Samantha Brice: Tea. I don't have coffee. It reverses spiritual polarization.
- Bill Maxwell: Oh, well, we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?