- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I think I see now how it happened: Last evening at dinner, when Miss MacGlinn saw Blanche give Kendall Nesbitt her key she was furious. She dropped a steak knife into her purse...
- Sophia Petrillo: Big deal. I took a whole place setting.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [angrily] Not NOW, Ma!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [comes up behind Sophia and holds a knife at her throat] A throat... a throat is almost always cut from behind.
- Sophia Petrillo: Not part of the show, people! Not part of the show!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Being right handed, I would slash from left to right, but since the knife was found to the left of the victim, we can deduce that the murderer is left handed. Notice that Gloria like most left handed people wears her wristwatch on her right wrist!
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh, Kendall is sitting down with Posey MacGlinn. She is my main rival for that assistants job. Oh, look at the shameless way she's flirting with him. Disgusting!
- Rose Nylund: You flirted with him.
- Blanche Devereaux: I'm from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage.
- Rose Nylund: What does that mean?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Her mother was a slut, too.
- Sophia Petrillo: Come on, Dorothy, you can figure this out, just like you solved the mystery downstairs at dinner.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh Ma, that was a game, this is life!
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh yeah, you've never been good at life.
- Rose Nylund: [Impressed when Dorothy solved the mock murder] Dorothy, that was a real tour de France!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: When a 22 year-old girl marries a man who is 88, chances are, she's not after his body.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Blanche are you kidding? I have read every word Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler ever wrote. Sam Spade and Philip Marlow have become a part of me... "She had more curves than the Monaco grand prix and was twice as dangerous. Her jewelry was mute testimony that Charlie Chaplin wasn't the only tramp who hit it big in this town."
- Sophia Petrillo: You do this on first dates don't you Dorothy?
- Rose Nylund: You know, back in Minnesota I was known as Sherlock Holmes of St Olaf.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Figured out which one was Shinola, did you, Rose?
- Rose Nylund: The hard way.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Morning, Ma. How'd you sleep?
- Sophia Petrillo: Pretty good. I dreamed I was making love to Jay Leno
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: That's a strange dream for you to have.
- Sophia Petrillo: Not really. It was Monday night and he was filling in for Carson.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Perhaps. But they are both murderers.
- Sophia Petrillo: Sit down, Dorothy. Don't make a fool of yourself.
- Marlowe: You care to explain?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: In the first place, it is unlikely that Gloria murdered her father. Statistics show that patricide is overwhelmingly a male crime, although daughters frequently murder their mothers!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Try to figure out who are the real guests, and who are actors pretending to be guests, that'll make it much easier later on.
- Rose Nylund: Okay Dorothy... if that's your real name.
- [goes past Gloria's table]
- Rose Nylund: How's that coffee?
- Gloria: [points to her cup] Terrific!
- Rose Nylund: [under her breath] Actor!
- Waiter: [entering with champagne] Compliments of Mr. Nesbitt.
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh, well I'll take it.
- Waiter: No, I got it, ma'am.
- Blanche Devereaux: All right.
- Waiter: [sees something terrifying] Oh my God.
- Blanche Devereaux: [turns around and sees that Kendall is dead] OH MY GOD!
- Posey: When Kendall told her the truth, she flew into a jealous rage! She plunged the steak knife into his chest! That tramp murdered my lover!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I know Blanche Devereaux, Lieutenant, and this tramp is incapable of committing murder!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Alright, Rose, give me your mirror.
- Rose Nylund: What for?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Every morning I hold a mirror under Ma's nose, if it fogs up, I start the coffee.
- [holds it under Kendall's nose]
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: No breath... he really is dead!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: The hotel security cordoned off the room, so the only ones who saw it after the murder, other than you and your staff, were the waiter, the hotel manager, and the four of us.
- Vaczy: So?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: So when Miss MacGlinn was reconstructing the murder, she describe Blanche's dress being slung over the bed!
- Vaczy: It was, I saw it.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: But Miss MacGlinn could ONLY have seen it if she'd been there PRIOR to the murder!