- Blanche: You know, Sophia... This birthday thing kinda has me depressed as well. You think you could help me, too?
- Sophia Petrillo: Sure. No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: you're old, you sag, get over it!
- Blanche: [angrily] Sophia?
- Sophia Petrillo: So what if you knew Jesus personally? Wake up and smell the coffee, ya fossil!
- Blanche: My mistake; I thought since you look like Yoda, you were also wise.
- [walks off]
- Rose Nylund: [planning a surprise] I have to figure out which of the traditional St Olaf party games to play at Blanche's party.
- Blanche: [suddenly walks into the kitchen] Party? Is that why you've been sneakin' around tryin' to find out my age? A party? I forbid it!
- Rose Nylund: Blanche, a party is a celebration of life, and it's not just for you, but for your friends who love you.
- Blanche: [unyielding] No!
- Rose Nylund: Stop being so vain. You can't stay 42 forever.
- Blanche: Yes you can! If you eat right, exercise regularly, and live with women who look at lot older than you.
- [she leaves in a huff]
- Dorothy: Tell me, Rose, is 'Kill the Bitch' a traditional St Olaf party game?
- Dorothy: [a man dressed in hippie outfit opens the door and picks up the meal. Dorothy sees him and looks shocked] Ma! Ma! He's not old. He's a perfectly healthy young man!
- Sophia Petrillo: [Sophia, comes out of one apartment and looks at the man] Just be back before midnight Dorothy.
- [Then goes back into the apartment]
- Sophia Petrillo: [Dorothy is helping Sophia deliver meals to the homebound] This is Mrs Taylor. You'll get along with her just fine. Two things: one, compliment her cat, and two, Jews control the planet.
- Dorothy: Got it.
- Sophia Petrillo: [the door opens and Sophia goes in] Oh, Hi, Fluffy. Looking good!... No, Mrs Taylor, it's Flint-STONE, not Flint-STEIN.
- Dorothy: [after meeting Jimmy, who hasn't been out of his apartment in 22 years] How pathetic a person could live their life totally alone, devoid of companionship or love. I wish I could do something.
- Sophia Petrillo: Start a club!
- Rose Nylund: Don't worry, Dorothy, maybe Jimmy'll come around.
- Dorothy: Oh, I wish I could believe you, but Rose, I have been there. I mean, after awhile you feel like you're just in this gigantic black hole.
- Rose Nylund: We had a gigantic black hole back in St Olaf.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh, God!
- Rose Nylund: On Main Street, right in front of the courthouse, where Charlie and I got our marriage license, and our permit to have kids. Oh, it was a lovely hole. Everybody in town would stand around and look in it...
- Dorothy: [mocking] And they say Hollywood is the entertainment capitol of the world.
- Rose Nylund: Well, we didn't just look in it. Sometimes we'd point, too. Or spit, and time it! Then there was always that wise guy, who'd have a couple of drinks and unzip himself...