- Chief Inspector Sparrow: First Jack the Ripper who terrorized London at the turn of the century and now the Werewolf. Who'll be next to drive the women of England wild?
- Maxwell Smart: Engelbert Humperdinck?
- Chief Inspector Sparrow: What are you doing?
- Maxwell Smart: [checking the pockets of Hitler's uniform] I'm looking for Eva Braun's phone number.
- W.C. Fields: I don't know of you're aware, my boy, but you're being pursued. The entrepreneur of this establishment, a French fried potato enthusiast desires your immediate demise.
- Maxwell Smart: Huh?