- Gracie Allen: I've been helping people for years and I've always been able to do the things I didn't know how to do just as well as the ones I did. Sometimes even better.
- Harry Morton: [to Blanche] Gracie has small feet to match the smallness of her intellect; you have rather large feet, and there the parallel ceases.
- Gracie Allen: You see, George, my mother and father were right. They always said that it takes two to make a quarrel, and nobody was better at it than they were!
- Harry von Zell: You wouldn't fire me three weeks before Christmas!
- George Burns: Oh no, no, no. You're entitled to two week's notice, so I'll fire you a week before Christmas.
- Harry Morton: Von Zell, how could you be such a dupe?
- Harry von Zell: I started as a dope and worked my way up.
- Ronnie Burns: You know they told us that Imogene has the biggest plurality of any queen ever elected?
- Gracie Allen: Really? Well, it certainly doesn't show in her picture.
- George Burns: Well? Where are the cigars?
- Harry von Zell: I don't know, George, I didn't take anything, boss... boss... look, ask him! He was here, boss!
- George Burns: Out!
- Charlie the TV Repairman: No, Mr. Burns, he's right, I -- when I was here...
- George Burns: Wait a minute. You came here to fix something, fix it! What are you trying to do, ruin our story?