Futurama (TV Series)

Space Pilot 3000 (1999)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Smitty, Richard Nixon's Head, Ipgee, Man with Newspaper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fry : What if I don't want to be a delivery boy?

  Leela : Then you'll be fired...

  Fry : Fine.

  Leela : ...out of a cannon, into the sun.

• [Fry has woken up 1000 years into the future and met Leela] 

  Fry : [gasps]  Is that blimp accurate?

  Leela : Yep. It's December 31st, 2999.

  Fry : My god, a million years...

• [Fry is with Bender in a suicide booth, thinking it's a telephone booth] 

  Suicide Booth Recording : Please select mode of death. Quick and painless, or slow and horrible.

  Fry : Yes, I'd like to make a collect call.

  Suicide Booth Recording : You have selected slow and horrible.

  Bender : Good choice.

• Fry : Wow, a real live robot! Or is that just some sort of cheesy New Year's costume?

  Bender : Bite my shiny metal ass!

  Fry : Doesn't look so shiny to me.

  Bender : Shinier than yours, meatbag!

• [after escaping a suicide booth, Fry and Bender are in a bar, Bender is telling Fry about his life] 

  Bender : I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's all I'm programmed to do.

  Fry : Were you any good?

  Bender : Are you kidding? I was a star. I could bend a girder to any angle. 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it. 31... But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for.

  Fry : What for?

  Bender : Suicide booths.

• [Fry and Leela meet] 

  Fry : Can I ask you a question?

  Leela : As long as it's not about my eye.

  Fry : Uhh...

  Leela : Is it about my eye?

  Fry : Sort of.

  Leela : [sighs]  Just ask the question.

  Fry : What's with the eye?

  Leela : I'm an alien.

  Fry : [excited]  Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the Earth?

  Leela : No, I just work here.

• Fry : I've got no home, no family...

  Bender : No friends.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Would you three by chance be interested in joining my new spaceship crew?

  Bender : New crew? Well, what happened to the old crew?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh, those poor sons of bi... But that's not important.

• Leela : Please, officers there's no need to use force.

  Smitty : Let us handle this weirdie.

  Leela : Oh, come on... He's just a poor kid from the stupid ages.

  Smitty : Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball...

  Leela : No one makes fun of my nose.

• [first lines] 

  Fry : [offscreen]  Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

• Leela : He's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd rather not force it on him.

  Ipgee : Well, too bad, because it's your job, whether you like it or not. And it's my job to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do. Very much. Now get back to work!

  [Leela leaves grumbling] 

  Ipgee : Life is good.

• Fry : My God, it's the future. My parents. My co-workers. My girlfriend. I'll never see any of them again.

  [pause] 

  Fry : Yahoo!

• Fry : [yelling]  Pizza delivery for...

  [normal voice] 

  Fry : I. C. Weiner. Aww... I always thought by this stage in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls.

• Bender : You really want a robot for a friend?

  Fry : Yeah, ever since I was six!

  Bender : Well, all right. But I don't want anyone to think we're robosexual or anything, so if anyone asks, you're my debugger.

• Fry : Why would a robot need to drink?

  Bender : I don't *need* to drink, I can quit any time I want.

• Leela : You guys were totally out of control.

  Smitty : It's our job. We're peace officers.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [after taking a DNA test with Fry]  By God I am your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!

  Bender : Can we have some money, now?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh my no.

• [Fry drops Nixon, spilling his head on the floor] 

  Richard Nixon's Head : [angry]  That's it. You just made my list.

• Fry : I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

• Fry : Look, I don't understand this world, but you obviously do, so I give up. If you really think I should be a delivery boy, then I will.

  [he holds out his hand for Leela to implant the occupation chip; instead, she removes hers] 

  Fry : Your chip. What are you doing?

  Leela : Quitting.

  Fry : Why?

  Leela : Because I've always wanted to. I just never realized it until I met you.

• Fry : Wait a second. You're a bender, right. We could escape if you would just bend the bars.

  Bender : Dream on, skintube! I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a debender?

  Fry : Who cares what you're programmed to do? If someone programmed you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?

  Bender : I'll have to check my program.

  [pause] 

  Bender : Yep.

• Fry : Are we going to fly all over space, fighting monsters and teaching alien women how to love?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : If by that you mean delivering cargo, then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.

  Fry : Cool. What's my job gonna be?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : You're gonna make sure the cargo reaches its destination.

  Fry : So, I'm a delivery boy?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Exactly.

  Fry : All right! I'm a delivery boy!

• Leonard Nimoy : Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.

  Fry : Spock? Hey, do the thing!

  [does Vulcan salute] 

  Leonard Nimoy : I don't do that anymore.

  Fry : This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?

  Leonard Nimoy : We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.

  Caretaker : Feeding time!

  [Caretaker drops food flakes on jar; Nimoy nibbles at them like a goldfish] 

• Fry : This is my old neighborhood. This brings back so many memories.

  Bender : Keep 'em to yourself, pops.

• Fry : C'mon Bender, it's up to you to make your own decisions in life. That's what separates people and robots from animals and animal robots.

  Bender : You're full of crap, Fry!

  [Gets electrocuted] 

  Bender : You make a persuasive argrument, Fry!

• Fry : My Lord. What is this place?

  Bender : The decaying ruins of old New York. Welcome home, buddy.

• Bender : Well, it was nice meeting you Fry. I'm gonna go kill myself.

  Fry : Wait, you're the only friend I have!

  Bender : You really want a robot for a friend?

  Fry : Yeah, ever since I was six.

  Bender : Well, all right, but I don't want anybody thinking we're robosexuals so if anyone asks, you're my debugger.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I am already in my pajamas.

• Fry : [Knocks on the door before opening it]  Hello? Hello? Pizza delivery for um... I.C. Wiener? Aww crud. I would have thought that at this point in my life I would be the one making the prank phone calls.

• Fry : What if I don't wanna be a delivery boy?

  Turanga Leela : Then you'll be fired.

  Fry : Fine.

  Turanga Leela : Out of a cannon, into the sun.