Plot

Phoebe catches chicken pox just as an old flame arrives in town on leave from the Navy. Joey gets a job at Chandler's office. Monica is upset that Richard doesn't have any quirks.

Ryan, a guy in the navy who Phoebe used to go out with is coming to the city for 2 whole weeks. Ben has chicken pox and everybody except Phoebe has had them. So of course Phoebe has the chicken pox now but unfortunately Ryan hasn't had them but he wouldn't let the pox stand between them. Chandler organizes a job as a processor for Joey and Joey does a little too much acting like he was a processor. Ryan and Phoebe both have the chicken pox and the itching drives them crazy. Joey is really annoying at work and always ratting Chandler out. They agree that Joey will quit. Monica is upset that Richard doesn't have one thing he is obsessive about. Ryan leaves.—Anonymous

Phoebe catches chicken pox from Ross's son just as her old flame, Ryan (Charlie Sheen), arrives in town on leave from the Navy (Ryan serves on a submarine and he resurfaces every couple of yrs, for 3 days only.. but this time he has got shore leave for 3 weeks). Phoebe thinks its ironic since she is a vegetarian. Even though he has never had chicken pox, he wants to be as close to her as possible (he spent the last 8 months in a metal tube, filled with men) and they end up spending the rest of the time being sick and trying not to scratch themselves. Ross and Rachel find them scratching and end up duct taping oven mitts to their hands to stop them from scratching themselves. But they later take off the mitts and get orgasmic pleasure out of scratching themselves. 2 weeks later, Phoebe and Ryan have recovered from the chicken pox and its time for Ryan to return to his boat. Rachel wants Ross to dress up in a uniform for sex.. Ross gets all excited and makes some calls. Ross gets the uniform and sweeps Rachel off her feet from work.. But he has to back and forth (while carrying Rachel) when she has to shut off the coffee machine, pick the purse, turn off the bathroom light.. Ross drops Rachel on the sofa as he hurts his back.

Chandler hires Joey as a temporary entry level data processor at his office and Joey decides to play it as a role. He creates his own character, "Joseph" (who has a wife (Karen) and kids (2 girls named Ashley and Brittany)), and takes his role-playing too far, which almost costs Chandler his job. Chandler boss wants the team to work over the weekend to produce the final numbers, but Chandler wanted to cut them some slack for morale. Joey, steps in with his character, agrees with Mr Douglas (the boss) and tells Chandler to have the final numbers ready right after the weekend. Joey then drops the ball on an important project and when he is called by Mr Douglas, he blames Chandler for it (even though Chandler was working the entire weekend). Chandler cant fire Joey as he is in a different department. So, he threatens Joey that he will spread rumors that Chandler slept with Karen. Joey realizes his mistake and decides to quit.

Monica is upset that Richard does not have a "thing" - an inexplicable quirk (The duvet tag of the bed-sheet should not be at the top left corner of the bed, but at the bottom right corner. Flower blossoms should be facing up, not down. The head of the bed is where the sun would be.. Toilet paper should be folded into a point.. fold a tab of tape under to save valuable seconds the next time you need to use it.. everything on the desk has to be perpendicular.. ) - like she does. He eventually thinks of one to please her (Richard has to sleep on the left side of the bed, as he grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side)..