- Rachel switches identities with Monica so she can use her health insurance. Meanwhile, Ursula continues to come between Phoebe and Joey.
- At the hospital, Rachel (who has sprained her ankle), and who also has no health insurance whatsoever, convinces Monica to trade identities with her so she can use Monica's coverage. The women meet two attractive doctors (Dr. Mitchell (George Clooney) and Dr. Rosen (Noah Wyle)) and arrange a date, requiring them to maintain their switched identities. Monica thinks this is stupid. The doctors arrive. Rachel wants to tell the truth, but Monica thinks that an even bigger mistake. Meanwhile the doctors are nervous too. Monica and Rachel end up having a big fight and start spilling secrets about each other. Monica says that she (as Rachel), dumped a guy at the alter, is spoiled & selfish, used to wet the bed .. while Rachel says she (as Monica), likes to boss people around, was fat in high school, used breasts to get other people's attention. Monica tells Rachel's dad (when he calls) that Rachel had sex with his business enemy (Billy Dreskin), on his bed. Later, the hospital calls as there was an issue with one of the forms. The girls realize that insurance fraud isn't worth it and decide to settle the bill in cash.
Joey ditches Phoebe to celebrate birthday with Ursula at a really expensive restaurant. Joey thinks Phoebe will understand and he doesn't want to screw things with Ursula. The gang, without Joey, throws Phoebe a surprise birthday party, but she is bummed to know that Joey isn't there. Ursula dumps Joey without actually telling him (she stands him up). Phoebe can see that Joey is hurt. Phoebe meets Ursula, who tells Phoebe that its over with Joey. Ursula doesn't want to call back Joey and says he will figure it out. Phoebe pretends to be Ursula & break up properly with Joey (saying that she wont go out with Joey till he is friends with Phoebe and Joey refuses to stop seeing Phoebe). Phoebe kisses Joey (and says that Joey will be really hard to get over) and he figures that it is Phoebe and is touched that she cares for him so much.
Ross doubts his ability to be a father (he is having dreams of playing football, where his kid is the ball.. Someone hikes him the baby and the entire defense is coming at him.. Ross hikes the baby and is suddenly downfield, where he is the supposed to catch it.. and there is no way that he is going to get there in time.. so he is running and running, and that's when he wakes up). Ross speaks to Jack, who tells him that after he was born, ROss was handed over to Jack. He grabbed Jack's finger tight and squeezed it and that's when he knew that he was a father. After Marcel swallows Scrabble tiles, Ross has to rush Marcel to the hospital (where Dr Mitchell agrees to take a look at him). Ross takes care of him, giving him confidence to be a good father, when Marcel grabs Ross's finger.
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