- [on why he wants to learn Tae Kwan-Do]
- William 'Will' Smith: I want to kick ass like Steven Seagal.
- Mr. Yoshi: Oh, you want to be a bad actor?
- William 'Will' Smith: Hey, Uncle Phil. What's up, man, you busy?
- Philip Banks: [eating] Yes I am.
- William 'Will' Smith: Look, listen. Uncle Phil, I've been acting *real* dumb.
- Philip Banks: Uh-huh.
- William 'Will' Smith: Look, I know what you're thinking, "what's new", but usually I know why I be trippin', man. But this time I don't have no clue.
- Philip Banks: This about you and Lisa?
- William 'Will' Smith: [Will nods his head]
- Philip Banks: Sit down. You know, ever since the dawn of civilization Man has tried to be the stronger of the species; the hunter, the protector. Have you taken any anthropology classes?
- William 'Will' Smith: No, but I've seen the Flintstones like five times.
- Philip Banks: Anyway, let me update this for you. Say a stranger asks you for directions, now you don't know where it is. But do you say that? No. You say "go down three blocks, make a left, you can't miss it".
- William 'Will' Smith: Yeah, I got plenty of dudes out there still looking for places.
- Philip Banks: Same guy asks a woman. now she doesn't know either, but she says "I don't know". That's the difference between Men and Women.
- William 'Will' Smith: Hey, wait, Uncle Phil. What is it that makes men act like that?
- Philip Banks: Uh, it's, uh... testosterone, the male hormone.
- William 'Will' Smith: And women don't have testosterone?
- Philip Banks: Well, I believe they do, but there's is, uh... dormant, most of the time. Excuse me.
- William 'Will' Smith: Wait, Uncle Phil, hold on. You don't know the answers to none of these questions I'm asking you, do you?
- Philip Banks: No, I guess I don't.
- William 'Will' Smith: Then why didn't you just say so?
- Philip Banks: Because I'm a man.