- William 'Will' Smith: Uncle Phil? l just wanted to say thanks for coming to the pool hall and saving my butt tonight. l ain't seen too many people shoot like that. Where did you to shoot like that?
- Philip Banks: Let's just say, l've spent time in a pool hall or two in my life. l know what goes on there which is why l don't want you going down there in the first place. You think l want to spoil your fun? l just want you to come home in one piece.
- William 'Will' Smith: l also want to thank you for winning my money back.
- Philip Banks: Your money? l'll play you for it.
- Will: Uncle Phil, I don't think all this legal talk is gonna work. I mean, the only legal phrase these people know is, "Will the defendant please rise?"
- Philip Banks: We got to get that car back.
- William 'Will' Smith: Uncle Phil, you can't go down there by yourself. You can't handle those dudes. They got guys in there that make you look like Webster.
- Geoffrey: lf there are hooligans there, l should accompany you. ln the early '80s, l was sparring butler for Mr. Chuck Norris.
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv] How y'all doing? l just got my hair cut. Kind of fly, huh?
- Philip Banks: l don't understand why you get your hair cut like that.
- William 'Will' Smith: Come on, Uncle Phil. All the brothers in Philly play their hair like this. Hair on top, none on the sides.
- [looks at Uncle Phil]
- William 'Will' Smith: But l guess y'all got kind of a reverse thing going on here.
- Carlton Banks: Michelle, we're in luck. My mom's away for the weekend, our butler's off duty and my dad will be leaving for the office at any minute. And l just took a multivitamin.
- Philip Banks: Will, l have a lot of work to do, so l'm gonna make this short and sweet. l don't want you taking our car downtown to some pool hall.
- William 'Will' Smith: You can't do this to me.
- [yells]
- William 'Will' Smith: Aunt Viv! Oooh, she's gone.
- Philip Banks: That's right, Will. No one can hear you scream.
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Uncle Phil about telling Aunt Viv what happened when she was gone] How come you didn't tell her what really happened?
- Philip Banks: Because l don't want her to worry about it. lt's between you and me.
- William 'Will' Smith: Do you think she'll put two and two together when the cops dig my body up?
- Philip Banks: Don't give me any ideas, Will.
- Vivian Banks: I'm going to Berkley to give my lecture.
- William 'Will' Smith: Oh ya are? When you coming back?
- Vivian Banks: Tomorrow night. Now while I'm gone, I want you to do everything your Uncle Philip says.
- William 'Will' Smith: [looks at uncle Phil, who has a demonic look to him] Yo Aunt Viv, wait, don't leave. Aunt Viv, don't leave me here with him! Aunt Viv, he's gonna eat me, don't leave me here with him!