Who can you turn to for prompt diagnosis?/
A fetish or fantasy?/
Sex or psychosis/
No problem at all/
Let us handle your call/
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Bring us your traumas, your latent neurosis/
Erectile dysfunction, bed-wetting, narcosis/
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Who dares enter the dark labyrinth of the human mind?/
What festering secrets are buried in the recesses of the subconscious? Lurid images, crude desires, guilty pleasures, strange compulsions./
The whole catalog of human behavior from the abulic to the monstrous lurks behind a locked door to which one man holds the key./
So if you are stymied to find a prognosis/
And ask yourself just like Freud/
In Movostasis/
Stop scratching your head/
Let us cure it instead/
On our show, on our show/
Now here is the man/
To explain/
The tortured terrain/
Of your brain/
The man who feels/
Everyone's pain/
Dr. Crane/
Dr. Crane/
Frasier Crane
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