- Dr. Niles Crane: Uh, if you two don't mind, Daphne's psychic evaluator is on the way over and we'd like to use the living room.
- Martin Crane: Oh, fine by me. That stuff creeps me out anyway.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Niles I still can't believe you ever agreed to this. Those tests are based on nothing more than subjective evidence and lucky guesses.
- Daphne Moon: Yes, nothing at all like the subjective evidence and lucky guesses psychiatry is based on.
- Martin Crane: [smugly] Thank you.
- [Daphne's psychic tester arrives]
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: Actually I'm a professor of psychiatry at Seattle University.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Really? Please, have a seat.
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: Thank you.
- Dr. Niles Crane: So... you're more of a debunker.
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: Well, no, not at all. Actually, I apply scientific principles to the search for paranormal phenomena. Believe me, nothing would make me happier than discovering a legitimate psychic.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, so then you've never found one.
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: Well, if by "psychic" you mean people with above-normal prescience, then a few. If you mean somebody who could beat the house in Vegas, then no.
- [drifting off]
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: I thought I had one for a while, but, uh... no.
- Roz Doyle: She thinks she's psychic, but he doesn't believe her.
- Dr. William Tewksbury: Well, no matter who's right or wrong, Niles needs to set up stricter boundaries with his patients. I learned that from years of practice.
- Roz Doyle: No, no, she's not his patient, she's his girlfriend.
- Dr. William Tewksbury: Ah, well in that case, no matter who's right or wrong, he's wrong. I learned that from years of marriage.
- Roz Doyle: You don't think I can appreciate a sophisticated man? You know, it's not just about sex for me, Frasier.
- Dr. William Tewksbury: [Dr. Tewksbury comes out of the bedroom still wearing Roz's robe] Do you have a stepladder? My pants are stuck in the ceiling fan.
- Daphne Moon: Well, nothing bad would have happened if you'd paid attention to my premonition!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Well, actually, nothing bad would have happened if you hadn't shown up.
- Daphne Moon: Well, it wouldn't have not happened had I not shown up.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Well, it wouldn't not have happened if you hadn't not shown up!
- Daphne Moon: And I wouldn't have shown up had I not known that you wouldn't have been able to not come down here!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Well, I'm not... not... not... what?
- Daphne Moon: My point exactly! You don't listen.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Niles has just banged his knee against a table at Cafe Nervosa] Niles, Niles, are you all right?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, no, I've just aggravated my old bossa-nova injury.
- Dr. William Tewksbury: [talking to Frasier while wearing Roz' robe] Seeing me dressed like this brings up deep feelings. Don't be afraid of those feelings, go with them.
- [Noticing student who has just opened his office door]
- Dr. William Tewksbury: Ah, Peterson. Here for your make-up test?
- Student: I was. But I'll just take the D.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Well, I'm happy for you, Frasier. He
- [Tewksbury]
- Dr. Niles Crane: is a gifted psychiatrist, even if I don't share your god-like worship of him.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, I simply have a healthy respect for the man, Niles. It's hardly worship.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, please. You're one step away from seeing his image in a tortilla.
- Roz Doyle: Okay, I'll be honest with you. When we first started working together, I had a little crush on you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Really?
- Roz Doyle: Yeah, sure. I mean, you were handsome and sophisticated and you had your French suits and your Italian shoes...
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Actually, it was vice-versa, but go on, go on.
- Roz Doyle: What are you doing?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I was just saying how great you are.
- Roz Doyle: No, you're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' speech. If anyone should be giving that speech it's me, not you.
- Dr. William Tewksbury: [at Roz's apartment, Dr. Tewksbury comes out of the bedroom wearing a short silk robe] Frasier! Hello, what are you doing here?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, just uh... wearing clothes.
- Dr. Niles Crane: I'm glad we worked this out.
- Daphne Moon: Me too.
- Dr. Niles Crane: [wanting sex] And now that we've made up, maybe we could mmm... .
- Daphne Moon: Well, I guess we know who's not psychic.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Niles is lying on Frasier's couch, nursing his sore knee] Is there anything I can get you, Niles? A cold pack, perhaps?
- Dr. Niles Crane: No, no. If Daphne ever comes out of her room, I'll just use her icy stare.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Pssst, Frasier. Can you get me a latte?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Why don't you get it yourself, Niles? Oh, that's right: It's bad moogambo for you to enter.
- Dr. Niles Crane: You know I promised Daphne.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, yes, and woe betide he who disobeyeth the oracle!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Alright, alright... wait, wait. Maybe if I... I get it to go and don't actually sit down I won't be breaking my promise.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Step aside everybody, big set of onions coming through!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [Niles has just promised Daphne not to go to Nervosa due to a psychic vision about his safety] Wow, that was scary!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Don't tell me you believe in that stuff.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No, I mean the way that she can manipulate you like that.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh... please, I was just being diplomatic.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Tell me: is it difficult to kick box without a spine?
- Dr. Niles Crane: You're going to find out.
- Daphne Moon: [as Dr Morey getting ready to leave after administering phychic ability test on Daphne] I'm sorry Dr. Morey, we've wasted your time.
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: It's OK. Your dog told me a couple of funny jokes while we were waiting
- [looks at Eddie]
- Dr. Sheldon Morey: [Daphne and Niles give looks of surprise] I'm kidding! They weren't that funny.