- Dr. Lilith Sternin: I'm here for a convention and I happened to hear your voice on the radio. I kept hoping that you'd introduce Pearl Jam's latest hit, but to my chagrin, you were doling out worthless little advice pellets from your psychiatric Pez dispenser.
- Lilith: [to Eddie] Go away!
- [Eddie runs off]
- Frasier: Now why does he listen to you and not to me?
- Lilith: By my tone of voice. He knows I mean business.
- Frasier: I see, so you're saying your voice is more commanding than mine.
- Martin: Hell, I took half a step before I realized she was talking to the dog!
- Frasier: Hello, you're on the line.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Congratulations, Frasier, you've done it again. You've led another unsuspecting innocent down one of your dark, dead-end Freudian hallways.
- Frasier: Lilith?
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Overeating is very simply a behavioral problem caused by negative reinforcement. It can be cured quite readily by behavior modification.
- Frasier: I see. Well Seattle, we have a celebrity of sorts on the line. This is my ex-wife Lilith.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: What do you mean by celebrity?
- Frasier: [darkly] Oh, they know you.
- Niles: Well, I guess I'll say my goodbyes as well. Goodnight, Frasier.
- [ignores Lilith]
- Frasier: Oh, this is ridiculous! Listen, Lilith, uh, Niles is upset because you snickered at Maris's wedding vows.
- Lilith: I simply responded with the genuine spontaneous emotion I was feeling at the moment. But, if Niles is not mature enough to accept that, if he is so pitifully insecure, if he is in such need of validation, then I guess for some sense of familial harmony, I do apologize.
- Niles: Oh, Lilith, thank you!
- [hugs her tight]
- Niles: Oh, this bad blood between us has gone on far too long! Next time you're in town, we'll have dinner, just you and me!
- Frasier: [Niles leaves. Lilith looks at Frasier] He doesn't get that kind of validation at home, you see.
- Niles: At our wedding, while Maris was reciting her vows, which she wrote herself - vows of love from the heart - I distinctly heard snickering. I glanced behind me and there was Lilith, her fingers pressed hard against her lips, her body shaking like a paint mixer.
- [Frasier has a surprise caller to his show - his ex-wife]
- Frasier: Well, Lilith, what brings you to Seattle, the constant rain?
- Lilith: I'm here for a convention, and I happened to hear your voice on the radio. I kept hoping you'd introduce Pearl Jam's latest hit, but much to my chagrin, you were doling out worthless little advice pellets from your psychiatric Pez dispenser.
- Frasier: Hello, Lilith.
- Lilith: Frasier. Come in.
- Frasier: I must be early - I see you haven't had a chance to put up your hair yet.
- Lilith: Oh, I thought I'd leave it down tonight.
- Frasier: Really?
- Lilith: Yes - after several hours of careful deliberation and weighing all the consequences, I decided to be playful.
- Frasier: Do you think I should see her again tonight?
- Niles: Frasier, like most patients who come to a therapist, you already know the answer to the question you're posing. You just want me to agree with your decision and support you whether I share your opinion or not.
- Frasier: Yes, but I don't have an opinion in this case.
- Niles: I'm sure you do.
- Frasier: But I don't.
- Niles: Well, then I can't help you.
- Frasier: All right, all right. I think in my soul, I'm leaning toward taking the next step and, uh, seeing if there's anything... there.
- Niles: That is what you should do.
- Frasier: Why?
- Niles: You know why.
- Frasier: Damn it, Niles!
- Niles: Frasier, you know why.
- Frasier: [Beat. Niles looks at Frasier expectantly] All right. We have a long history together, we-we have a son that we both adore. There were some good times, and when they were good... Hoo-ah!
- Niles: Well, it seems our minds are pretty well made up, aren't they?
- Frasier: Yes, they are. Thank you, Niles. I don't know what I'd do without you.
- Niles: Yes, you do.
- Frasier: Drop it!