- Martin Crane: [for Frasier's party, Niles is dressed as Martin and Daphne as Elton John] All right, stop it.
- Dr. Niles Crane: What?
- Martin Crane: I don't want to watch myself make out with Elton John.
- Roz Doyle: We've been out trick-or-treating all afternoon and Alice is exhausted.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: That's strange, there's hardly been any kids in this building.
- Roz Doyle: Are you kidding? I rode up on the elevator with 5 Britney Spears' and a sweaty Harry Potter.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Daphne, don't you think that's a small bowl of candy for all the trick-or-treaters?
- Daphne Moon: I don't think so, Dr. Crane, most kids avoid this apartment, because of Old Man Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh yeah, poor Dad.
- Daphne Moon: No, it's you, Dr. Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Me?
- Daphne Moon: Yes, they have a whole rhyme. 'Old man Crane, Old man Crane, make him mad and he'll eat your brain'.
- Martin Crane: What the heck are you supposed to be?
- Daphne Moon: Reginald Dwight, you may know me as Sir Elton John.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Daphne, I hardly think Elton John is a heroic figure.
- Daphne Moon: Yes he is, he's been a celebrated musician for over 30 years, there's also his charity work and his knighthood.
- Roz Doyle: Wonder Woman really is my hero, she's everything I admire: beautiful, smart, independent, moral...
- Dr. Niles Crane: [drunk, as Martin] And talk about hooters.
- Martin Crane: [to Niles] Hey, I keep that to myself.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Hello... baseball man.
- Martin Crane: Oh, come on! Joe DiMaggio! You know who he is, don't you?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, of course. Joe DiMaggio was married to Marilyn Monroe... who was also married to Arthur Miller, the playwright who wrote Death of a Salesman, The Crucible, A View From the Bridge... you see, Dad, I know a lot more about baseball than you think.
- Dr. Niles Crane: [impersonates his father] My sons are disappointments!
- Martin Crane: You stop right there! You will not put those words in my mouth! I was always proud of you boys and I will not be turned into some drunken judgmental jackass!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: All right. Question number one. The inaugural question in the first game ever of "Hero Worship." Copyright Frasier Crane, boilerplate, boilerplate. "As your hero, please share your reaction to the human genome project, not only as a scientific venture, but as a regulatory challenge to governments--foreign and domestic."
- Martin Crane: No.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, all right, all right. Maybe we'll just save that for the lightning round.