Frasier (TV Series)

Miracle on Third or Fourth Street (1993)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Frasier : [his father is hanging up a fake wreath]  Dad, what are you doing with that?

  Martin : I'm going to hang it on the door like I always do.

  Frasier : But Dad... it's plastic!

  Martin : Of course it's plastic! Do you think a real one would have lasted since 1967?

• Daphne : I promised my Uncle Jackie I'd fly down to San Francisco to be with him.

  Martin : Well, I guess you should be with your family at this time of year, it's more traditional.

  Daphne : Except that Jackie's a transvestite. Getting a bit long in the tooth for it too, if you ask me. Last Thanksgiving he ate too much turkey and I had to cut him out of his pantyhose.

• [Martin and Frasier are arguing over the Christmas decorations. Frasier wants to decorate the Christmas tree using lights shaped like chili peppers] 

  Martin : Oh, I give up. Go ahead, decorate the thing. Use your chili peppers!

  Frasier : All right, I won't anymore!

  Martin : Use 'em! Why don't... maybe we could hang a few radishes, put a nice broccoli on top!