- Bebe: Do you have any idea how hot you are? I get offers everyday from other stations offering the moon for you.
- Frasier: Good Lord, am I really that hot?
- Bebe: Are you kidding? If I were a pot roast, I'd be done.
- Niles: Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table.
- Bebe: Niles, thank God you're here. Back me up. Give him some sound, brotherly advice.
- Niles: She's the Devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far.
- Daphne Moon: Here we are! One cup of tea - half Darjeeling, half Chamomile, skim milk, a packet of sweetener - oh, and I thought you might enjoy a nice fat-free tea biscuit. Will there be anything else?
- Bebe: No. You run along, I'm fine.
- Daphne Moon: You're sure now? Because I could wait 'til you finish the biscuit and floss your teeth for you.
- Bebe: You are a cheeky little monkey, aren't you?
- [bites the biscuit]
- Bebe: This cookie tastes like meat!
- Daphne Moon: Yes, and it'll remove tartar and give you a nice, shiny coat!
- Niles: Oh, dear, don't turn around. It's that dreadful woman who works for you.
- Frasier: Who?
- Niles: Um... Lady Macbeth without the sincerity.
- Frasier: Oh! Oh, Bebe's here! Now listen, Niles, I care for her just as little as you do, but she is a terrific agent, which is why I overlook the fact that she's pushy and obnoxious and the most appalling phony I've ever known.
- [turns around]
- Frasier: Bebe, darling, how are you?
- Martin: [Martin comes in, sees Frasier and peels open one of his eyelids. Frasier starts awake] Sorry, Eddie, he's still alive. You're not gonna get your own room after all.
- Frasier: Ohhh, God.
- Martin: How're you feeling?
- Frasier: How do I look?
- Martin: Last time I saw a guy who looked like you, he'd been in the trunk of a car at the airport for a month.
- Bebe: [standing on the ledge outside the window] It's no good. My life is over.
- Bulldog Briscoe: You gotta save her, Doc. My contract's up in 6 weeks. She's my agent too.
- Frasier: I'm going out there.
- Roz Doyle: Are you nuts? It's 9 stories down. You know what a drop like that would do to you?
- Frasier: Roz, why don't you toss a pumpkin out the window so I have a clear image.
- Bebe: Darling, this isn't about us, it's just a little bargaining tactic. I threaten to jump, you talk me down, major coverage, Bang! Your price goes up 20%.