Frasier (TV Series)

A Tsar Is Born (1999)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• [SPOILER] 

  Dr. Myshkin : Well, on behalf of the Russian people, I thank you for retrieving this for us.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You mean, you're just going to take it?

  Dr. Myshkin : Well, it's rightful place is in the Hermitage Museum.

  Dr. Niles Crane : But this clock has been in our family for generations...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles!

  [Frasier motions him to stand in front of the door] 

  Dr. Myshkin : Dr. Crane, we could settle this in the courts, but you wouldn't win. Do you really want this to come out in the press?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, do you expect us to just let you walk out of here with a precious family heirloom?

  Dr. Myshkin : Did I mention that your ancestor, before she married a Noah Crane in 1882, worked as a prostitute in New York?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : ...Enjoy your bear.

• Appraiser : [the guys are watching "Antiques Roadshow" and playing a drinking game]  The real clue here is the veneer.

  Martin Crane , Dr. Frasier Crane , Dr. Niles Crane : Veneer!

  [they all take a sip of alcohol] 

• Dr. Niles Crane : [watching the Antiques Roadshow with Martin]  It's amazing, he used the term 'craftsman' and meant it in the architectural sense instead of the rotary sander.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : That's uncanny.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well you heard him.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, that you used the term 'rotary sander'.

• Dr. Niles Crane : I am so sorry, but on the way in, I had the most amazing celebrity sighting: Hans Dietrich.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [thrilled]  The loveseat expert?

  Dr. Niles Crane : The very same.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Get out!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Well Niles, how goes the research?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, I think you're going to be very pleased. According to this catalogue of Russian antiquities, the bear clock was last seen in Moscow in 1879.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, hold on to your fur hat, Niles. I just discovered that our great-great grandmother emigrated from Russia... in 1879!

  Dr. Niles Crane : My God, it's all coming together. I can practically picture the scene.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Our great-great grandmama, smelling revolution in the wind...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Secretly slips away in the black Russian night...

  Dr. Niles Crane : Taking the bear clock with her to remind her of better days.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes! The ticking hands of time counting down her return, her royal power merely hibernating.

• [Martin, Frasier, and Niles are excited to attend "The Antiques Roadshow"'s appearance in Seattle] 

  Martin Crane : Yeah, I'm going to go and have a little root around in our closet. I bet I can find a nice little objet d'art they'd be interested in.

  [He exits, leaving Frasier and Niles stunned by his correct French pronunciation] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : It's as if that panhandler I gave money to was a genie granting all my wishes.

  Daphne : Would you marry me in this?

  [Daphne enters wearing Donny's mother's wedding dress, which looks like it belongs on a go-go dancer. Niles nearly faints] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [whispers]  How much did you give him?