- [Steven's reaction to Alex turning their house into a hotel]
- Steven: Alex, parents are conditioned to put up with a few minor accidents when they leave their children home alone. A broken vase, spilt milk on the rug... There was a kangaroo... in my living room.
- Alex P. Keaton: ...He was just here for the party dad.
- Steven: Then I guess I'm overreacting.
- [Alex has turned the house into a hotel to pay for car damage while parents were away]
- Alex P. Keaton: I can explain everything!
- Steven Keaton: Oh can you? Can you explain the valet parking in the drive way?... The flashing vacancy sign... in front of the house? The billboard on Route 41?