- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me?
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after 11 deliverymen bring in vases of flowers for Laura] A *dozen* dozen roses for my lovely lady.
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Bye, Laura.
- Laura Winslow: Where're you going?
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Moscow methinks.
- Laura Winslow: Russia huh? How come?
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well that's where my parents are stationed and I want to be with them.
- Laura Winslow: When're you coming back?
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not.
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Getting a proposal from someone like Stefan Urquelle and then by me is like being proposed to by Brad Pitt, and five minutes later, getting a proposal from Mr. Bean.
- Willie: So what's up?
- Carl Winslow: My blood pressure, thanks to my daughter's love life.
- Willie: Oh?
- Carl Winslow: The other night she went out on a date with Steve Urkel.
- Willie: That kid who blew up the science lab?
- Carl Winslow: Yeah but that was years ago, he's destroyed *hundreds* of things since.