- Lydia Grant: Leroy, I don't think Mrs. Laird would be interested in performing in a school production. She's a professional. Professionals don't perform in school productions. Especially if they have to compete against people as lowly as dance teachers for the part. People that haven't been out there for a while. Especially when those people can dance rings around her.
- Suzi Laird: [sighs] I don't know. You might be able to talk me into it, Leroy, if, eh, I could be sure that I'd be going up against a certain teacher, one who had something to prove. It might be nice to take her off her high horse.
- Lydia Grant: Go for it, you are on, baby.
- Suzi Laird: Right.
- [leaves]
- Holly Laird: Miss Grant? I hope you dance the pants off her.
- Morloch: I'm doing "Casey at the Bat" for the teacher's show.
- Sherwood: Oh...
- Morloch: You, eh... don't approve?
- Sherwood: No, no! No, it's just that I'm doing a recitation, too. Something from Elizabeth Bearring Browing.
- Morloch: [scoffs] Well, who wants to hear that sentimental pap when they can hear a real, masculine poem?
- Sherwood: Masculine it may be, it's also dreadful.
- Morloch: Dreadful! It's one of the best poems ever written. Every single line rhymes.
- Mrs. Lewandoski: Are you sure you want me to lose the accordeon and just tap dance?
- Cleo Hewitt: Well, actually, I think you should... cut the tap dance, too.
- Mrs. Lewandoski: Then there's nothing left to my act.
- Cleo Hewitt: Well, yeah, but look how we've improved it.