The Facts of Life (TV Series)
Small But Dangerous (1983)
Pamela Adlon: Kelly Affinado
Quotes
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Jo Polniaczek : Kid you're in this store and you're breathing, one of those things has gotta change.
Kelly Affinado : Mrs. Garrett, are you gonna let her threaten me like that?
Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett : Why not? She's good at it.
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Kelly Affinado : You called me a smurf and a twerp, it got me mad!
Jo Polniaczek : Well if you're mad at me, you take it up with me! You don't extort money from my friends!
Kelly Affinado : I can't take up anything with you, you don't talk to me! You just call me names and take off!
Jo Polniaczek : Well, what do you care what I call you? What do you care what anyone calls you? You are what you are, and what you are is a smurf and a twerp!
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Kelly Affinado : I remember the first time I saw you. You were working at the motorcycle shop last year.
Jo Polniaczek : When were you there?
Kelly Affinado : I was there with my dad. He was trying to get his golf cart fixed.
Jo Polniaczek : Oh yeah, that guy. He was the one who stripped his gears in a sand trap. How come you remembered me?
Kelly Affinado : Are you kidding? In the ten minutes that I was there you fixed an engine, you drained a crankcase, and you tossed a six foot biker out on his tattoo!
Jo Polniaczek : All in a day's work.
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Kelly Affinado : If you can outrun rats you can outrun a guy wearing 50 pounds of leather.
Tootie Ramsey : Rats?
Kelly Affinado : Every kid needs a pet.
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Kelly Affinado : You guys aren't giving me a chance.
Natalie Green : Why should we, so you can make fools out of us some more, so we can entertain you? Why don't you just get cable?
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Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett : Do you promise?
Kelly Affinado : I bet to you a promise is a heavy number isn't it?
Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett : You better believe it.
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Kelly Affinado : I want to talk to you!
Blair Warner : Sure, what do you want to talk about? School? What courses are you taking this year?
Kelly Affinado : Can the courses talk, Barbie doll! We gotta talk business.
Blair Warner : Not if you're going to call me 'Barbie doll' we don't.
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Natalie Green : How old are your brothers and sisters?
Kelly Affinado : 12, 10, 9.
Tootie Ramsey : I just love big families.
Kelly Affinado : [continuing] 8, 6, 6, they're the twins, and 3.
Natalie Green : Wow, don't your parents have a TV set?
Kelly Affinado : That's the same thing the welfare lady asked.
Tootie Ramsey : Welfare lady?
Kelly Affinado : Oh hey, it's nothing bad, my dad didn't run out on my mom or nothing, he just hasn't worked in 2 years.
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Kelly Affinado : [to Mrs. Garrett] What am I supposed to do? My parents are out all the time and I'm stuck in that apartment. I've already raked in a million on Tron. I just wanted to have a place to, like, hang out.
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Kelly Affinado : It's not so bad, we all live in one room, we all eat out of one pot, we all sleep in one bed, poverty keeps you close.