Dimitri: [the women fight in his dealer; he cites a letter] *Dear gentlemen of the press. I hereby invite you to the Miss* - Doortje, what are we going to call that Miss?
Doortje: Miss DDT Okay?
Dimitri: No, it must have something to do with cars. Miss Bodywork?
Doortje: That's pretty vulgar, isn't it?
Dimitri: Depends on the bodywork. Miss Head Gasket? Nah. Miss Power Distributor? Hm. Miss Hooter?
Doortje: Dimitri, please. Who wants to be in the papers as Miss Hooter? Carmen, maybe. She'd even like to be called Miss Muffler.
[Dimitri and Doortje laugh as Carmen enters]
Dimitri: Doortje?
[he coughs]
Doortje: Ah, Carmen. Can we help you with something?
Carmen: I was in the neighbourhood and I need oil for my squeaky doors. And I thought, Dimitri has that.
Dimitri: Sure, but I only have lubricating oil, you see.
Carmen: Everything that squeaks needs to be lubricated, right?
Dimitri: I'll take a look. Here, I've got you some leftovers. 50 francs?
[she frowns]
Dimitri: 30 francs.
[she smiles]
Dimitri: You can have it for free.
Carmen: Thanks, Dimitri. By the way, Dimitri, how are registrations going?
Doortje: You're not interested, are you?
Carmen: I'd like to join in for fun.
Doortje: [sarcastically] Yeah, fun we'll have.
Carmen: Why? Will *you* participate then?
Dimitri: Doortje, register Carmen.
[she doesn't do it]
Dimitri: Oh come on. 'Carmen Waterslaeghers'. Address?
Doortje: [answers in her place] Pig Lane 14.
[he writes it down]
Dimitri: There you go. And good luck.
Doortje: That'll depend on the competition, huh?
Carmen: I'm quite comfortable with that.
[Carmen leaves, Pascale arrives]
Carmen: Look who's here. Are you coming to register your daughter?
Pascale: Dimitri, Bieke's car needs repairs.
Carmen: Right, she prefers to sit in a Cadillac, doesn't she? Bye.
Doortje: Carmen, you forget your oil for your squeaky doors.
[Carmen comes back to take it, throws Dimitri a kiss, then leaves]
Dimitri: Doortje, be more kind to the candidates.
Doortje: Women like Carmen bring down the level of your competition. Eventually you can register anyone, even the grannies.
Pascale: I sign up.
[Doortje laughs at Pascale]
Dimitri: Doortje, register her. I'm glad the Crucke family is so well represented.
Pascale: What do you mean?
Dimitri: This morning Bieke put herself forward orally. Doortje, write her name down. Good luck to you two, and may the prettiest win.
[Pascale leaves the office]
Boma: Pascale. Bonjour tout le monde.
Dimitri: So my beauty pageant is only for women, you know.
Boma: This is for you.
[Boma gives Dimitri a cigar, he thanks him]
Boma: I got this from a member of the diplomatic corps. Everything's fine? And how's the pageant going? What I wanted to say. The owner of a factory as chairman of your jury. Doesn't that add class?
Dimitri: Sure, but what about the owner of a sausage factory, uh?
Boma: You need a woman connoisseur anyway. Doortje would also fall for Boma, wouldn't she petite fleur?
Doortje: If it's slippery, or from fading? Then yes.