- Ren Stevens: As this year's coordinator for the school wide fundraising drive for the Beacon of Help, I wanna encourage each and every one of you to get involved. As I look out upon my fellow students, I see your eager faces, faces unafraid of sweat and hard work.
- Alan Twitty: [Louis is asleep] Do you want me to wake him?
- Ren Stevens: He's my brother. Let me do it.
- [walks toward Louis, who is dreaming about himself surfing while he eats a corn dog, with a bird flying over him causing him to fall off the board]
- Louis Stevens: [Louis wakes up suddenly, disoriented at first] I want names and I'm not afraid to tango!
- Ren Stevens: As I was saying, this Saturday I want all of you here to jog, rollerblade, swim, paint fences, whatever you're gonna be doing, to get your friends and family to pledge generously. Now, remember: the more you work, the more you pledge. Any questions?
- [Louis raises his hand]
- Ren Stevens: Yes, Louis, you can go back to sleep now.
- [Louis dumps his head on his bag and falls asleep]
- Louis Stevens: Guys, check it out!
- [they see an advertising poster for a new "virtual fun center"]
- Alan Twitty: Awww, dude, I can't wait! Fun-tasia is gonna be so cool.
- Louis Stevens: I heard that there's gonna be, like, pizza, and tons of video games and stuff.
- Tawny Dean: I heard they have virtual bowling.
- Louis Stevens: I heard that when you have virtual bowling, you have to rent virtual bowling shoes.
- Tawny Dean: I hate that virtual nasty smell.
- Louis Stevens: It's almost like those virtual nachos!
- Tawny Dean: They make you virtually bloated.
- [Louis and Tawny laugh at their own absurdity]
- Alan Twitty: Could you guys virtually stop now?
- Louis Stevens: Guys... What if I found a way to help mankind without even getting out of my pyjamas?
- Tawny Dean: Are you okay? I can hear you screaming through the intercom.
- Louis Stevens: What are you doing here?
- Tawny Dean: Oh, just thought I'd come out and watch a little mattress rodeo.
- Louis Stevens: That's cool. So... Why aren't you with Zach?
- Tawny Dean: Zach's okay, but... he doesn't laugh at the stupid stuff, like we do.
- Tawny Dean: So, you're really gonna stick this out?
- Louis Stevens: Well, yeah, I mean I came this far.
- Tawny Dean: That's pretty cool, Louis.
- Louis Stevens: Besides, I really think I''ve got the hang of it now. Let's see here...
- [pushing a button. The mattress goes up towards the ceiling]
- Louis Stevens: Oh, Jeez... Down, bed! No!
- [Tawny laughs]
- Teacher: Class, Ren Stevens has an announcement to make. Please, give her your full attention. Remember, we are ladies and gentlemen.
- [he whispers to Ren]
- Teacher: I'm gonna scarf a burrito. Back in five.
- Ren Stevens: OK.