- [first lines]
- Bo Duke: [as flock of sheep pass in the road before the General Lee] You ever seen such hairy pigs?
- Boss Hogg: [Luke and Bo put up a fake fight to get arrested] You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forget the whole thing.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [dazed and puzzled, his usual] Forget the whole thing...
- Boss Hogg: There's nothing else you can do. You see, for the next twenty-four hours that jail is being... fumigated. So it's no use arresting anybody if you ain't got a place to put 'em. Which reminds me. Uh, Daisy, look sharp now. Fix some tables up and deliver a dozen catfish and champagne lunches...
- [Rosco throws up into his hat]
- Boss Hogg: to the jailhouse for that fumigating crew.
- [Rosco staggers out]
- Boss Hogg: And charge the whole mess to me.
- Daisy Duke: Okay, Boss.
- Uncle Jesse: [to Luke and Bo] I don't know about you boys, but... when Boss Hogg starts givin' away somethin' for free, I smell a rat.
- Daisy Duke: [overheard mob boss rough-talking on phone to his underlings] How can a feller be so polite to me, and so rude to his mother?
- Bo Duke: [re the machine-guns found] Uncle Jesse, lemme put it to you this way: If the South had that much artillery, we'd never have lost Atlanta.
- Daisy Duke: [distracting the two thugs] Hey, hi, fellas. Y'all are at my favorite swimming hole. Hope you don't mind if I go skinny-dipping.
- Daisy Duke: [thugs overhear splashing in river] This water feels so good on my bare body.
- [meanwhile she's just using a branch to make water splash]