- Nurse: Hi.
- Luke Duke: Howdy.
- Nurse: Something I can do for you?
- Luke Duke: You like to take my blood pressure?
- Nurse: Gladly. Wanna feel my pulse?
- [Luke takes her arm, they walk off]
- The Balladeer: [narrating] Hazzard has that effect on some folks, they just naturally say whatevers on their minds.
- Daisy Duke: That's my cousin.
- Cooter: Yeah, he's a real Duke boy, alright.
- The Balladeer: [narrating] Well, the hen-house is empty. The fox is lickin' off chicken feathers and the Duke's goose is about to be cooked.
- Dewey Hogg: I've made you beneficiary of my $300,000 life insurance policy.
- Boss Hogg: What, you have? Let me see. Yeah, beneficiary, Jefferson Davis Hogg, in the amount of $300,000.
- [Boss laughs]
- Boss Hogg: I mean, discounting my $50,000 then I'm gonna be a quarter of a million dollars richer when you kick the bucket.
- [both laugh]