- Ray Vecchio: If we turn it over to these bozos...
- Agent Deeter: Bozos?
- Ray Vecchio: Oh, excuse me, Agent Bozos.
- Ray Vecchio: [discussing Hamlet with Fraser] He was a crazy person. Okay? Elaine, tell him Hamlet was a crazy person!
- Elaine Besbriss: [indicating the FBI agents] I can't vouch for Hamlet, but I'd watch out for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern if I were you.
- Agent Ford: All we're asking for is a little cooperation here, Lieutenant. Surely your people can manage that.
- Lt. Harding Welsh: I've seen your version of cooperation. We're still replacing windows down in Chinatown.
- Agent Ford: We're not blaming you for Chinatown, although there are some in Washington who were a little dismayed by the lack of respect your people showed for federal authority.
- [enter Ray]
- Agent Ford: Here's a case in point.
- Ray Vecchio: Well, I see you boys ran out of things to screw up in Washington.
- Garret: There's no floor, just dirt or sand. But it's inside.
- Ray Vecchio: Well, what did you see, a factory? A warehouse?
- Garret: GOD.
- [Fraser and Ray both stare incredulously]
- Constable Benton Fraser: God?
- Ray Vecchio: Great.
- Constable Benton Fraser: It's just that there's a certain matter that I've withheld from you for some time now, and I feel that if I don't clear my conscience soon, I...
- Ray Vecchio: Okay, okay, clear.
- Constable Benton Fraser: Well, it would appear that there is a situation that I have unwittingly encouraged, and it's taken a turn that I perhaps foolishly had not anticipated, or was even aware of as a remote possibility. But insofar as it is a matter of the heart, and directly affects someone who is close to both of us...
- Ray Vecchio: Fraser, you've got from here to my desk. Make it count.
- Constable Benton Fraser: Saturday last, your sister came to my apartment in the middle of the night dressed in what could only be described as a less than requisite attire and offered herself to me.
- Ray Vecchio: Okay, great. Now beat it.
- [stops short as it sinks in]
- Ray Vecchio: MY SISTER?
- Ray Vecchio: So, Francesca.
- Constable Benton Fraser: Your sister.
- [long pause]
- Ray Vecchio: You're not gonna tell me, are you?
- Constable Benton Fraser: No, I'm not, Ray.
- Ray Vecchio: I'm gonna have to live with this, aren't I?
- Constable Benton Fraser: Yes.
- Ray Vecchio: Stupid, right? I mean, if I'd want anybody to sleep with my sister, and I'm not encouraging this... I'd want it to be you.