Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

Das Sub (1997)

Tamala Jones: Black female student

Quotes 

• Eric Duckman : I want you kids to follow the simple principles that made this country great. Why did the founding fathers fight for their independence as soon as taxes got too high? Why did we force the Indians onto worthless tracts of land, only to kick 'em off onto even MORE worthless tracts of land as soon as the first drop of crude oil was discovered? And why did our own government trade arms for hostages for narcotics for hostages for arms with the very same drug cartels they're supposed to be fightin'? Anyone?

  [Kevin raises his hand] 

  Eric Duckman : Skunk!

  Kevin : Because... the American system may be bad, but it's the best we have?

  Eric Duckman : Quaint notion, but WRONG!

  Black female student : Because... we're keeping the world safe for freely elected demo...

  Eric Duckman : Blah blah blah, whatever you said. Dammit kids, stop thinking rationally and open your eyes! I've GOT to make you kids understand!

  [sighs] 

  Luis : Are you saying that the big guns go where the big money sends them, and that afterwards, the dudes that win these wars get to write the cleaned up history we read in these textbooks?

  Eric Duckman : [ding sound effect]  Actually, I thought it had something to do with defective breast implants, but your answer's good too.

• Eric Duckman : I don't like people talkin' about me. You're lucky I never hit a lady who makes my Noam Chomsky.

  Black female student : Degrading sexist remark noted.

  Eric Duckman : Ohhh yeah. Who's real now, huh, Dexter? This scene is real gone, baby. I am, into, it all, dig? Oh ho, very hep, very... hep.

  Hispanic female student : ...Do you need a shot of insulin or something?

  Eric Duckman : I don't do that crap. I'm clean. What are YOU into, hmm? Shiners? Boom-booms? Rippos? Calistogan canoe wax? Sinuvian swamp weed? Latter batter? Bud bugs? Spot foxies? Or is... booger sugar your "lady"?