The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Dear Sally Rogers (1966)
Rose Marie: Sally Rogers
Quotes
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Rob Petrie : You've done the Stevie Parsons show a dozen times. Why are you suddenly afraid?
Sally Rogers : I know, Rob, but I've used up all my best stories.
Buddy Sorrell : So dazzle 'em with your beauty.
Sally Rogers : Ah, thanks, Buddy. I don't need flattery. I need a joke.
Buddy Sorrell : That WAS a joke.
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Sally Rogers : Not a man. It's Herman Glimscher.
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Sally Rogers : I'll advertise for a husband on television. Funny?
Rob Petrie : Well, I... I... That's not what Buddy... That's not...
Rob Petrie : [to Buddy] You didn't mean THAT, did you?
Buddy Sorrell : If it's funny, I meant it.
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Stevie Parsons : Are the fellas all still chasing you around?
Sally Rogers : Well, I don't wanna say anything, but coming down on the subway, I had to change my seat five times.
Stevie Parsons : Some guy got fresh with you?
Sally Rogers : Yeah, finally.
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Sally Rogers : Men, I wanna tell you about an exciting new product - me!
Stevie Parsons : That's, uh... that's-that's not a new product.
Sally Rogers : Yeah, that's why I'm trying to get it off the shelf.
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Sally Rogers : Fellas, if you're dull, uninteresting, unattractive, chances are we've already met; but, if you're of voting age - better make that twice voting age...
Stevie Parsons : Yes.
Sally Rogers : ...and if you still haven't found the ideal girl, why don't you give up and try me? Just sit down and write yourself a marriage proposal and send it to S.O.S. - that's me, Sweet Old Sal - care of this program. All proposals will be judged impartially by one - me.
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Sally Rogers : Hey, did you fellas see a sack of mail?
[Mel enters]
Buddy Sorrell : Hey, will you settle for a tub of lard?
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Rob Petrie : [as Sally begins sorting through her sack of mail] Whoa! You're not gonna read 'em NOW?
Sally Rogers : Whoa, you're not gonna try and stop me, are you? My future may be in this bag.
Buddy Sorrell : That's what I said the first time I saw my wife.
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Herman Glimscher : What's that, the mail?
Sally Rogers : No, it's confetti with a thyroid condition.
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Buddy Sorrell : Hey, here's a beaut. Guy wants to know if you got a sister.
Sally Rogers : Why?
Buddy Sorrell : He don't like you.