The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Buddy, Can You Spare a Job? (1961)

Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Rob begins dictating a fraudulent letter of dis-recommendation to get Buddy fired by Alan Brady] 

  Rob Petrie : Dear Mel: There's a situation concerning the writing staff which I believe merits your attention.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Wait a minute, you're too polite! D-d... You gotta louse me up more!

  Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : Yes. What you need is some good honest hatred. I'll dictate it: During the past season, Buddy Sorrel has not contributed one idea, joke or fresh thought.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Beautiful. Hey, Sal, tell 'im about how I lay, you now, sleep on the couch all day, that I'm always comin' in late and everything, you know.

  Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : [continuing]  He has been distracting Sally Rogers and myself, and what was once a serviceable talent has deteriorated into an office clown.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Wonderful! Curly, if I ever want to get sent to the chair, you're gonna be my lawyer.

• Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : [on releasing Buddy from his contract with "The Alan Brady Show"]  Buddy, I cherish this moment. Never in my entire life have I been happier to say goodbye to anyone. Goodbye forever.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Mel, in the... many years of our association, I know I've said a lot of unkind things about your bald head. And... I'm sorry I didn't mention the rest of your ugly puss.

  Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : One last yecch!

• Rob Petrie : Why do you want to insult Mel like that, anyway?

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Well, I don't like him. For one thing, he's too tall.

  Sally Rogers : Rob's just as tall.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Yeah, but he's not nasty about it. When Rob stands next to me, he slumps a little.

• Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : [to Mel]  I'm very happy you're wearing that hat because there are a lot of woodpeckers in town.

• Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : [to Mel]  It's a wonder when you walk down the street, people don't want to put their finger in your ear and start bowling.

• Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Look, I didn't come here to depress anybody. I just wanna know how do you spell unemployment?

• Sally Rogers : [to Buddy]  Well, it's just like my mother always says: The sun isn't always shining just because there are sparrows.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : What's that supposed to mean?

  Sally Rogers : I don't know, but ain't it pretty?