- Al Swearengen: [of a newly-acquitted murderer] That type guy hanging round gets people agitated. Forces them to take a position, one side or the other. And agitation brings a slight bump up in whiskey sales, but sale of cunt plummets.
- E.B. Farnum: [alone, EB pauses from scrubbing at a stain on the floor of a guest room in his hotel] You have been tested, Al Swearengen, and your deepest purposes proved: there's GOLD on the woman's claim! You might as well have shouted it from the rooftops. That's why I'm jumpin' through hoops to get it back. Thorough as I fleeced the fool she married, I will fleece his widow too, using loyal associates like Eustace Bailey Farnum as my go-betweens and dupes. To explain why I want her bought out, I'll make a pretext of my fear of the Pinkertons. I'll throw Farnum a token fee. Why should I reward EB with some small, fractional participation in the claim? or let him even lay by a little security and source of continuing income for his declining years? What's he ever done for me? except let me terrify him every goddamn day of his life, 'til the idea of bowel regularity is a forlorn fuckin' hope?
- [pours water over the stain]
- E.B. Farnum: Not to mention orderin' a man killed in one of EB's rooms, so Every Fucking Free Moment of his life, EB has to spend Scrubbin' the BLoodstains off the GodDamn FLoor
- [goes back to scrubbin']
- E.B. Farnum: to keep from
- [breathes deeply / speaks softly]
- E.B. Farnum: havin' to lower his rates... GOD DAMN
- Al Swearengen: We're *illegal*. Our whole goal is to get annexed to the United fucking States. We start holding trials, what's to keep the United States fucking Congress from saying, "Oh, excuse us! We didn't realize you were a fucking sovereign community and nation out there! Where's your cocksucker's flag? Where's your fucking navy, or the like? Maybe when we make our treaty with the Sioux, we should treat you people like renegade fucking Indians - deny your fucking gold and property claims, and hand everything over instead to our ne'er-do-well cousins and brothers-in-law."
- Al Swearengen: For outright stupidity, the whole fucking trial goes shoulder to shoulder with that cocksucker Custer's thinking when he went over that ridge.
- Doc Cochran: I just seen Mrs Garret
- Seth Bullock: I've got a proxy for her to sign
- Doc Cochran: Y'oughta go ahead & get that done, so she can... leave town
- Seth Bullock: [grimacing] Anything else on your schedule I'm behind on?