- Jodie Abigail Landon: You realize your negative approach to everything is self-defeating, right?
- Daria: Well, it's nice to know there's someone I can defeat.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: I mean, you may spare yourself some pain by cutting everyone off, but you miss out on alot of good stuff too.
- Daria: Look Jodie, I'm too smart and too sensitive to live in a world like ours, at a time like this, with a sister like mine. Maybe I do miss out on stuff, but this attitude is what works for me now.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Then you'll understand what works for me now. At home, I'm Jodie - I can say and do whatever feels right. But at school I'm The Queen of the Negros, the perfect African-American teen, the role-model for all the other African-American teens at Lawndale. Oops! Where'd they go? Believe me: I'd like to be more like you.
- Daria: Well, I have to admit there are times when I'd like to be more like you.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Really?
- Daria: I'm not saying all the time.
- Daria: Admit it. That felt good.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Well, a little. Okay, a lot.
- Daria: Busting on jerks like Graham is one of life's few pleasures. You should try it more often.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Oh, shut up.
- Daria: Um... good start.
- [Having been offered a visit to a private school]
- Daria: I already go to a school where the kids all think they're cooler than me. I want to go to a school where the kids all think they're smarter than me, too.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: I don't like the idea of you staying here alone, anyway.
- Quinn: Why? I'm not afraid.
- Daria: Yeah. Why should you be afraid? Of mass murderers, serial killers, torturers, cannibals... puppy kickers?
- Tiffany Blum-Deckler: Does this make me look fat?
- Quinn: No way!
- Tiffany Blum-Deckler: [returns in a different outfit] Does this make me look fat?
- Quinn: ...No.
- Tiffany Blum-Deckler: [returns in a another outfit] Does this make me look fat?
- Quinn: You're not freaking fat, okay?
- Graham: Why don't we see whether you get in to Grove Hills, before we start listening to your opinions?
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey! Just because some jack made you feel like the loser you are, don't take it out on me.
- Graham: I'm not a loser! I have a 165 IQ.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Who cares? You're still boring and miserable. Try taking your head out of your butt for once, and open up your miopic little eyes, or doesn't your 165 IQ make you smart enough to see the way your really are?
- Quinn: I mean, he was really nice and cute and stuff, but he was only two inches taller than me. And my entire shoe-collection is based on the concept of dating guys three inches taller than me, or more.
- [Brittany shows a picture Jane drew to Jodie]
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Rent a brain.
- Brittany Taylor: Hmph!
- Jane: [Quinn is at Jane's doorstep] What are *you* doing here?
- Quinn: Um, I need to use your phone.
- Jane: What's wrong with your phone?
- Quinn: Nothing. Can I spend the night?
- Jane: Are you kidding?
- Quinn: My mother says I can't stay home alone.
- Jane: I won't say a word. I'll even spring for the keg, but you have to pay for the dry cleaning.
- Quinn: It's too last-minute to throw a party.
- Jane: Then just talk on the phone all night. Ask your friends, if they could be a nail polish, what color they would be and why.
- Quinn: I'm sick of that game.
- Jane: You're afraid to go home.
- Quinn: I am not!
- Jane: Sorry, no vacancies.
- [tries to close door]
- Quinn: [pushes door open against Jane] All right, I'm afraid! There's mass serial puppy killers and stuff. Come on. Please?
- Jane: I'm going to regret this.
- [Lets Quinn in]
- Jane: Nevermind, I already do.
- Brittany Taylor: [Daria is reading The Telltale Heart] The Telltale Heart? I LOVE romance novels!
- Daria: Yeah, nothing says "Be Mine" like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard.
- Quinn: I don't get abstract art. Who wants to look at a bunch of squiggly six-eyed people when you can get those really pretty cat paintings on the shopping network? Not that I would ever waste money on art.
- Trent Lane: Hey, Janey. You got any money?
- Quinn: Money? Are you going out? I wouldn't mind going out for a while. Of course, I don't know if I'd want to go out with someone dressed like that.
- Trent Lane: Uh, who are you?
- Jane: You remember Quinn, Daria's sister?
- Trent Lane: Oh, yeah. Daria's sister. Hey.
- Quinn: Excuse me, I have a name.
- Trent Lane: Right. Daria's sister.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: So, Jodie, do you belong to any clubs?
- Daria: You don't have to answer that.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: I'm president of the French Club, vice president of Student Council, editor of yearbook, and I'm also on the tennis team.
- Jake Morgendorffer: Daria, why aren't you on the tennis team?
- Daria: Because it's classified as a sport.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: Speaking of sports, Jodie, do you know Kevin Thompson? He and Daria did a science project together.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Oh, sure. Kevin's great...
- [softly to Daria]
- Jodie Abigail Landon: at smashing beer cans with his head.
- Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer: I don't know why Daria doesn't hang around with him and his gang more.
- Daria: For the same reason I don't sleep with my head packed in ice.