- Pte. Frank Pike: Why'd you wrap it up like this?
- LCpl. Jack Jones: Well that's five hundred pounds. that's a lot of money. I don't want to get knocked on the head and robbed, do I? Now I thought if I wrapped it up like that, people would think it was just half a pound of sausages.
- [Pike unwraps the bundle]
- Pte. Frank Pike: [awkwardly] This *is* half a pound of sausages.
- LCpl. Jack Jones: [fainting] Aaaah.
- Capt. George Mainwaring: In the name of the king, I demand to examine your chicken.
- Mr. Blewitt: What's the king got to do with it?
- Capt. George Mainwaring: For the defence of the realm.
- Capt. George Mainwaring: [Captain Mainwaring has just heard Pike say farewell to a customer in the bank in a manner Mainwairing considers inappropriate] "Bye Bye?" The correct way to address a customer is "Good Morning Sir", not " Bye Bye"!
- LCpl. Jack Jones: [referring to himself, Mainwaring and Wilson] We'll be like the Three Musketeers. 'One for one, two together. United we fall, and we stand divided upright.'