- Hank Yarbo: Hey, Davis just gave me a parking ticket.
- Wanda Dollard: Yeah, he gave me on too, and I'm parked in the parking lot.
- Hank Yarbo: Yeah, well I wasn't even parked. I was stopped at a stop sign, he came running out from behind a bush.
- Brent LeRoy: [about Oscar] I heard him yell at a butterfly once, called it a son of a bitch, told it to get out of his garden.
- Lacey Burrows: Look, Davis, coffee is on the house from now on, okay?
- Davis Quinton: I don't have to pay?
- Lacey Burrows: No.
- Davis Quinton: [pointing to Karen] And she's not paying?
- Lacey Burrows: No. You keep her away from me.
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Is your father coming in today?
- Brent LeRoy: Is he in some kind of trouble?
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Trouble? What makes you think he's in trouble?
- Brent LeRoy: What if I told you he was out of town?
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Is he out of town?
- Brent LeRoy: What if he was?
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Do you know where he is or not?
- Brent LeRoy: What's your favourite colour?
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Excuse me?
- Brent LeRoy: I was just seeing how long we could answer questions with questions. That was fun, wasn't it?
- Brent LeRoy: Morning, want me to fill it up?
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Do you work here?
- Brent LeRoy: It'd be a pretty weird hobby.
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: I just need to speak with your father to verify a few things.
- Brent LeRoy: I don't think he's here, I think he went to Hawaii.
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Hawaii?
- Brent LeRoy: Not Hawaii, somewhere cheaper than that... Red Deer.
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: I can appreciate that you don't wanna help me. I get that a lot, sometimes I get outright hostility. Just because of my job.
- Brent LeRoy: Well, no offense but I mean I can't just turn over my father. There's a bond between father and son that's strong and sacred.
- Oscar Leroy: Hey idiot! You left the lid on the dumpster up last night! Crows have scattered garbage all over the place out there. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean it, it'll be you out there on your hands and knees scrapin' up crow crap!
- Brent LeRoy: I'll tell you whatever you need to know.
- Oscar Leroy: Why'd you come in person? You ever hear of a telephone? It's a handy invention, I'll show you how it works sometime.
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: We did call.
- Oscar Leroy: You did not!
- [flashback, Oscar is on the phone]
- Oscar Leroy: What are you calling me on the phone for? My taxes paid for this call! You got something to say, you come here and say it in person. Get in the car, you ever hear of a car? It's a handy invention, I'll show you how it works sometime!
- [hangs up]
- Emma Leroy: Who was that?
- Oscar Leroy: I don't know, some jackass!
- Emma Leroy: What are you looking for?
- Oscar Leroy: Nothing.
- Emma Leroy: Nothing? You're just rummaging around in a box for no reason?
- Oscar Leroy: Not for no reason, I'm looking for something.
- Emma Leroy: Well, what are you looking for?
- Oscar Leroy: Nothing!
- Emma Leroy: If you're looking for your "Garfield" books, I threw them away.
- Oscar Leroy: I'm not looking for my "Garfield" books. Why would you throw away my "Garfield" books?
- Brent LeRoy: Well, let's say hypothetically my Dad can't find these sales records, what's the deal then, prison?
- Marvin Drey the Taxman: Well, there's no tax prison in Canada, you don't have to worry about that.
- Brent LeRoy: I wasn't worrying, I was suggesting.
- Hank Yarbo: [about the tax man] And then, when he's all juiced up...
- Wanda Dollard: You seduce him.
- Hank Yarbo: No.
- [pause]
- Hank Yarbo: Ew.