- Lacey Burrows: What is a Dog River Christmas like, anyway? I bet it's great!
- Wanda Dollard: Oh, there's snow, and, um... um... uh...
- Brent LeRoy: Wind. Sometimes it's windy.
- Wanda Dollard: Cold, usually.
- Brent LeRoy: And then we eat.
- Lacey Burrows: Careful not to build it up too much.
- [about "Chew-Bot," the toy Wanda got for her son's Christmas present, a half-goat, half-robot action figure]
- Wanda Dollard: Trans-Farmers. They're the hottest thing out there. All the stores sold out of them months ago.
- Brent LeRoy: How'd you get one?
- Wanda Dollard: Well, it was just a matter of analyzing the market data, spotting a trend...
- [flashback: Wanda wrestles with a fellow shopper for the last remaining Chew-Bot]
- Wanda Dollard: Back off or you'll be sucking your Christmas turkey through a tube!
- Hank Yarbo: [to Karen and Davis] Hey, d'you guys ever thought about giving to the less fortunate?
- Karen Pelly: We're not lending you money.
- Hank Yarbo: No. I was thinking we could all get together and raise money for a family in need.
- Karen Pelly: We're not lending your family money, Hank.
- [at the Regina airport]
- Lacey Burrows: ...so I wanted to stay in Dog River for Christmas, but I haven't seen my family in Toronto for so long.
- The Regina Official: So you made a call.
- Lacey Burrows: They called me.
- The Regina Official: No. I mean you made a call.
- Lacey Burrows: I don't follow.
- The Regina Official: A decision. You made a call.
- Lacey Burrows: Yeah, I guess.
- The Regina Official: Well, right now Toronto's completely snowed in. We had to cancel that flight. We had to make that call.
- Lacey Burrows: You made the call?
- The Regina Official: Oh, no. The airline made the call. I don't make calls. I mean, I could make a call like if they wanted me to call somebody. But, no, this kind of call is their call. They make the call and then they call me.
- Wanda Dollard: At first it's a goat. But then when there's trouble, it's a robot! And when there's real trouble...
- [the toy goat's head accidentally pops off]
- Brent LeRoy: Oh, cool! The head comes off!
- Wanda Dollard: The head came off!
- Brent LeRoy: Oh. The head's not supposed to come off.
- Wanda Dollard: [trying to reattach the head] No, no, no, no!
- Brent LeRoy: Well, they don't build robot goats like they used to.
- Karen Pelly: This charity thing at Christmas is great. I don't know why somebody didn't think of it before.
- Davis Quinton: It does give you a good feeling, doesn't it?
- Karen Pelly: But what I like is it's so convenient. Instead of running around buying everybody gifts, I just help out the poor family. I don't have to worry about sizes or colours. I just help out the poor family. It doesn't even have to be good, because for them, anything is good. They're a poor family.
- [Hank stores donated gifts at Corner Gas]
- Wanda Dollard: That's Chew-Bot!
- Hank Yarbo: Well, you can't have this one. This one's for needy people.
- Wanda Dollard: Yeah? Well, right now I'm needing it!
- [She lunges for it; Brent grabs her]
- Brent LeRoy: Whoa, Wanda! Come on! You can't do that! It's for poor people and it's Christmas!
- Wanda Dollard: You're right. Stupid poor people.
- Hank Yarbo: How's Christmas at the Leroy home?
- Brent LeRoy: Terrible. Mom's making real food right on the stove. They've got a new tree. It's made out of wood. Wood!
- Wanda Dollard: [dryly] This could be the worst Christmas ever.