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- Mertyl Runciman: [in hospital, on painkillers] And the moon farthest from Jupiter has a cave on it, so there's no reason to bring a tent.
- Sergeant Davis Quinton: Karen, I want to show you something: the Clavet Cup, named after Archie Clavet, the greatest curler ever to come out of Dog River. Some people say Archie Clavet could slide a cup of coffee down the length of the ice, draw it dead to the button without spilling a drop. Isn't that amazing?
- Constable Karen Pelly: It's amazing that people go around saying that, yeah.
- [Brent decides to split from Oscar's curling rink, or team, and form his own]
- Brent Leroy: Mom, will you come with me?
- Emma Leroy: I'm sorry, son. I'm sticking with Oscar. You dance with the one that brung you.
- Oscar Leroy: Damn right.
- Emma Leroy: No matter how disappointed you are in his dancing.
- Oscar Leroy: Damn right.
- Brent Leroy: Fine. Wanda, will you come with me?
- Wanda Dollard: You rented "Jerry Maguire" last night, didn't you?
- Brent Leroy: Yeah. Forgot to bring it back, too, but regardless, will you come with me?
- Wanda Dollard: I don't know, Brent.
- Brent Leroy: Bear in mind I sign your pay cheque.
- Wanda Dollard: Fine. I'll join you on your team.
- Brent Leroy: Yes! Thank you, Wanda. You won't regret this.
- Wanda Dollard: Yeah, yeah. You complete me.
- Sergeant Davis Quinton: You lost the Clavet Cup!
- Constable Karen Pelly: I didn't lose it. I'm unable to ascertain its whereabouts at this juncture.
- Sergeant Davis Quinton: I taught you police mumbo jumbo. Don't try it on me!
- Oscar Leroy: [about Mertyl] Good gravy, that woman's forever getting new hips! As soon as a new model comes on the market, she's gotta have it.
- Oscar Leroy: Do you know what the phrase 'ease up' means?
- Emma Leroy: Do you know what the phrase 'shut up' means?
- Brent Leroy: [coming up with a name for his new curling team] ... or Team Leroy...
- Wanda Dollard: The Next Generation.
- Brent Leroy: There might be a copyright issue.
- Mertyl Runciman: [in hospital, on painkillers] And the moon farthest from Jupiter has a cave on it, so there's no reason to bring a tent.
- Wanda Dollard: [about Lacey] She's still a free agent. Up the ante.
- Brent Leroy: Would you be on our team, please?
- Wanda Dollard: Good ante.
- Constable Karen Pelly: [looking at the photos Wes has taken of her and the Calvet Cup] Ooh, that's a nice one! I look strong and authoritative, yet still soft and feminine, don't you think?
- Wes Humboldt: My arm hurts.
- Lacey Burrows: Hey, why is Brent shaking hands with the other team? Another strange curling ritual?
- Hank Yarbo: Yeah, a weird ritual called "we lost".
- Lacey Burrows: The whole tournament? Oh, geez. I'm sorry, you guys. I guess I didn't help much.
- Hank Yarbo: You bounced every rock off the side!
- Lacey Burrows: I thought it was like shuffleboard!
- [Brent is giving his parents' team advice after his was eliminated]
- Brent Leroy: Dad, why don't you throw third stones and let Mom clean up?
- Oscar Leroy: Because I'm the skip! The skip throws last. Everybody knows that.
- Brent Leroy: The skip is just the leader of the team. The rules allow you to throw third and still be skip.
- Emma Leroy: Are you sure, or are you just screwing with his head? Either way's fine by me.
- Brent Leroy: Although uncommon, it is allowed. Just ask Alberta's Randy Ferbey and Dave Nedohin!
- [cut to the two aforementioned curlers]
- Randy Ferbey: Yeah, you can do that.
- David Nedohin: That's what we do and we've won three briers.
- [Karen feels bad about losing the Clavet Cup, Davis is trying to cheer her up]
- Sergeant Davis Quinton: Don't let your lousy policing skills get you down. Everybody does something completely moronic now and then.
- Constable Karen Pelly: Ah, you're just being nice. But it's the Clavet Cup! Everybody loved Archie Clavet.
- Sergeant Davis Quinton: Nobody loved Archie Clavet! He was a liar, a thief, a racist, and a bigamist!
- Constable Karen Pelly: But you said he was great and well respected!
- Sergeant Davis Quinton: No, I said he was a great curler! You gotta respect that.