Corner Gas (TV Series)

Comedy Night (2004)

Peter Kelamis: Bob Lang

Quotes 

• Lacey Burrows : [at the Dog River Town Bar]  I'm looking forward to your show. I heard you were really great the last time you were here in Wullerton.

  Bob Lang : Wullerton? I though I was supposed to play Wullerton tomorrow?

  Lacey Burrows : No. This is Wullerton.

  Bob Lang : Stupid Booking Agents! They never get anything right.

  Lacey Burrows : Yeah.

  Bob Lang : Tell me, is there a place nearby that people here make fun of? You know, like a town people *hate*?

  Lacey Burrows : Oh, yeah. *Dog River*!

  [spits] 

  Bob Lang : Thanks.

  [Lacey smiles evil-like] 

• Bob Lang : Thank you, Hank. Saskatchewan's answer to Don Rickles.

  [beat] 

  Bob Lang : Well it's great to be here. I was just in Dog River, so it's great to be anywhere.

  Bob Lang : [no applause]  Yeah, let's just say people from Dog River. *Shallow* end of the gene pool.

  Local #1 : BOO!

  Bob Lang : What's the matter? You don't get it? Like you're from Dog River or something?

  Bob Lang : [no response]  Uh. Cheers! To the best town in all of Saskatchewan. WULLERTON!

  Local #1 , Local #2 : [the entire audience spits on cue]  BOO!

  Local #2 : Yeah, bring back Mean Hank!

  [entire audience starts shouting "BRING BACK MEAN HANK!"]