- Dr. Frasier Crane: Everybody, I'd like you to meet my date, Dr. Lilith Sternin, M.D., Ph.D., Ed.D., A.P.A.
- Woody Boyd: Boy, it sure isn't spelled like it sounds.
- Justice of the Peace: [during Frasier and Candi's wedding ceremony] If there is any person present who knows a reason why this couple should not be united, speak now or forever hold your peace.
- Diane Chambers: I do.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Right phrase, wrong wedding.
- Candi Pearson: I'm Candi.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, so I see from your necklace, Candi with an 'I'.
- Candi Pearson: Well, I used to spell it with a 'Y', but nobody ever took me seriously, so then I switched it to an 'I', you know, like Gandhi.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, yes, I understand that's why he did it.
- Woody Boyd: My dream is to someday fall in love with a beautiful girl and for her to fall in love with me. We get married and have three wonderful children who grow up and move away from us and hardly ever write. She and I would grow old in an empty house together and die. I forgot - I also want a boat.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: So, how do you like Cheers?
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Well, it seems adequate for its purpose. But I have a feeling that you only brought me to this place to surround yourself with people you know and I don't.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, yes. But what's more, I thought that we might have a drink or two thereby lowering our inhibitions a bit, and enabling us to go back to your place and have a physical encounter of some sort.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Well, we won't.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I appreciate your candor.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: No you don't.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You're right. I feel like striking you.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Your attempt at machismo is totally inadequate. You can't even make eye contact.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I could look at you if I wanted to, but frankly I've grown tired of counting the comb marks in your hair.
- Candi Pearson: Anyone ever tell you you've got a cute forehead?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Frankly no, but I've been told I have acute anxiety.
- Diane Chambers: Please tell me if I'm wrong, and I'll be forever silent.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You're wrong.
- Diane Chambers: [immediately whines] No I'm not.
- [Frasier and Candi have just announced they're getting married]
- Carla Tortelli: You know, you're not so dumb.
- Candi Pearson: Thank you Carla.
- Carla Tortelli: Frasier's not my cup of tea, but as husbands go, he could be all right. He won't hurt you, and I think he'll always be faithful. And if he isn't, who cares?
- Candi Pearson: That's kind of beautiful.
- [Diane is comparing her and Sam's relationship to Candi and Frasier's]
- Diane Chambers: We were as you are diametrically opposed personalities. Oh, at first, our differences were charming to us. I found Sam's lack of refinement and sophistication crudely provocative.
- Sam Malone: Yeah, and I liked the way her hair smelled.
- Diane Chambers: I'm sure in addition you were excited by the intellectual vistas to which I exposed you.
- Sam Malone: Ah, no, I really think it was that conditioner.
- Diane Chambers: The point I'm trying to make is that the only thing we had was a great physical relationship.
- Sam Malone: And we had a lot of that.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and use the little boys' room.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin: Why does a grown man feel the need to euphemize?
- Woody Boyd: Well, he did drink that beer awfully fast.
- Sam Malone: [musing about the possibility of Sam asking Diane to marry him] What would your answer be?
- Diane Chambers: Ah, no, Sam, that's the sort of question that has to be asked before it can be answered.
- Sam Malone: Well, if I heard the answer, maybe it would be easier for me to ask the question.
- Diane Chambers: Very well. The answer's no.
- Sam Malone: Well then the question was, "Have you ever met a man who gave you the hots more than me?"
- Diane Chambers: I'd like to change my answer.
- Sam Malone: Fine, fine.
- Diane Chambers: Then the answer is yes.
- Sam Malone: Well then the question was, "Do you want to go to bed with me?"
- Diane Chambers: I want to change my answer again.
- Sam Malone: Well that's OK, and I'll change my question too. "Is there any way you would not object to not going to bed with me?"
- Diane Chambers: [Diane thinks for a second] Wait a minute...
- [Sam chuckles at her]
- Candi Pearson: I don't know what you think this is all about, but, I just came here 'cos Sam said you were a nice guy, and you were down in the dumps, and I thought maybe we could talk a little bit, and have a couple of laughs.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Fine, we've had that. You've done your charity work for the evening.
- Candi Pearson: Charity work? You really are a sad case. How a guy with such a great forehead could get so messed up.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Um, wait... er, the least I can do is give you a ride home. I'm going in your direction.
- Candi Pearson: Which direction?
- [Sounding a little worried]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Out.
- Candi Pearson: [Relieved] Ah... thank you Frasier.
- [Gives him a little kiss on the lips]
- Candi Pearson: You're sweet.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Say, you know I just realized I'm feeling kind of hungry - would you like to get some food?
- Candi Pearson: Ohh, food, my favorite!