Cheers (TV Series)
Heeeeeere's... Cliffy! (1992)
John Ratzenberger: Cliff Clavin
Photos
Quotes
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[after the taping of The Tonight Show, Cliff is on the seemingly empty stage]
Cliff : [miming bowling] Heeere's Cliffy!
[Johnny Carson applauds and approaches Cliff]
Johnny Carson : How does it feel on stage?
Cliff : Good.
Johnny Carson : Now get the hell out of here before I call security.
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Cliff Clavin : [laughing] Yeah, there'll be a lawsuit, that's for sure. In a year, this is gonna be the Clavin Broadcasting Company.
Security Guard : Yep, his name's in the computer. And here's a flash: he's a Postal worker.
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Cliff Clavin : [in the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson audience] Hey-ya, Cliff Clavin. I'm from Boston. I wrote tonight's monologue.
Audience Member : Really? Then you know Johnny.
Cliff Clavin : Well, does anybody *really* know Johnny?
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Johnny Carson : [after telling Cliff's joke and hearing the audience dislike it] Whoa, stay where you are. Fortunately folks, in a situations like this, the band has instructions to come over and form a human barrier in front of the star. How did that line get on the cue cards, anyway? I should have done that joke with one of those big blue dots covering my face. Who wrote that joke anyway?
Cliff Clavin : [angrily getting to his feet] I wrote that joke, and it was great!
Johnny Carson : Pardon me?
Cliff Clavin : The problem wasn't the joke, the problem was you! You botched it! You botched my joke, Johnny Carson!
Norm Peterson : Sit down.
Cliff Clavin : [being let away by security] I'm not going to sit down! I wrote that joke! Get your hands off me! Is this the way you treat your talent, Carson?
Johnny Carson : [to audience] Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of NBC.
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[on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, Carson reads Cliff's joke twice; each time, the NBC Studio audience boos]
Johnny Carson : Whose joke is this?
Cliff : It's *my* joke! You busted me!
[Cliff is led away by security guards]
Johnny Carson : Ladies and gentlemen, the president of NBC.
