- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Buy yourself a melon in case you misplace your head.
- John Allen Hill: Thank you. Tell me Carla, clinically speaking, are you considered a dwarf or a midget?
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Say, is that your head, or is your neck blowing a bubble?
- John Allen Hill: Somebody phone the authorities in Paris. A gargoyle has just fallen off Notre Dame and is now taking drink orders.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: You know, two heads like that would make a perfectly good butt.
- John Allen Hill: Shrike.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Bullet-head.
- John Allen Hill: Slattern.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Hatchet-face.
- John Allen Hill: [in a friendly tone after he looks at his watch] Well, must be off. Till next Monday.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: [to Norm and Cliff, admiringly about Hill] He's good people.
- Sam Malone: [about $25,000 Rebecca says she has] Where are you going to get that kind of money?
- Rebecca Howe: I have a degree, I'm a businesswoman, I just spent the last ten years in a major corporation my daddy is giving it to me.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: [to Rebecca] Why do you want Cheers? I would think, for you, this bar would only have negative associations connected with it. Well, think of all the heartbreak you've had here, the forgotten goals, the missed opportunities...
- Norm Peterson: Hey, it's called atmosphere, babe.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: I would would think, for you, this place would have the stench of failure.
- Carla Tortelli-LeBec: No, that's Clavin. And FYI, it's not just failure.
- Rebecca Howe: You know, actually Lilith, I had more productive, successful times at Cheers than I've had any other place in my life.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: [in shock] Oh, Dear God!