- Carla Tortelli: Hey, wait, I got an idea.
- Diane Chambers: You mean you actually conceived something besides a child?
- Carla Tortelli: Whoa. A bitter and unprovoked attack. I like it.
- Sam Malone: It's not like we get Justice of the Peace and ministers walking in this bar every day.
- Norm Peterson: Don't be too sure, my son.
- Diane Chambers: You, Norman?
- Norm Peterson: Yup. Back in the 60s, sent a dollar into one of those churches that advertise in the back of Rolling Stone. I'm an official minister of the Church of the Living Desert.
- Norm Peterson: All those places are right here in Boston, huh?
- Diane Chambers: Yes, Norman. This town is a veritable treasure trove of historical monuments.
- Norm Peterson: That's really somethin'. Thousands of people flock to Boston just see all those sights and soak up a lot of American heritage. I sit here in a bar, night after night, guzzling beer.
- Diane Chambers: Sad, isn't it?
- Norm Peterson: Yeah... but hey, no one's forcing them.
- Sam Malone: No problem, when she gets here, she'll fall under the ole Sammy Spell...
- Diane Chambers: Sam, your vanity knows no bounds
- Sam Malone: I'll be dressed in my best - hey, Diane, when you dream of me, what am I wearing?
- Diane Chambers: An anthill.
- Jacqueline Bisset: I don't know - it's all been so fast!
- Carla Tortelli: FAST? It's been eight hours - by the time I knew my ex-husband that long, he'd already cheated on me!