- Virginia: Let's talk about us.
- Eric Charming: I beg your pardon.
- Virginia: You'd look great in Saran Wrap!
- Snow White Charming: Besides, Elliot's gay.
- Eric Charming: Well of course he is, he's with you all the time!
- Snow White Charming: No, honey....
- Eric Charming: Oh! Oh, you mean like Tweedledum and Tweedledee!
- Eric Charming: You know, Luther, I feel like this book is the most important thing I've ever done.
- Luther: Are you kidding? You're Prince Charming! Do you know how many dragons you've slain, and villages you've saved, and fair maidens you've kept pure and virtuous?
- Eric Charming: Well, two out of three.