- Hieronymous Fox: I wish you wouldn't call me "Mr. President." Makes me feel like I'm 500 years old.
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: But you are 500 years old.
- Hieronymous Fox: 493, but who's counting?
- Hieronymous Fox: Now then, first of all, there's food. I have what you might call a voracious appetite.
- Koren: General Service provides a complete line of food discs and soy supplements.
- Hieronymous Fox: Food discs? Are you kidding? I mean "real" food like French fries, milk shakes, cheeseburgers.
- Koren: Cheeseburgers?
- Hieronymous Fox: An old 20th-century delicacy. Meat patties made from extinct animal called a cow. In a pinch, though, you could use a Rigellian mountain lizard.
- Koren: Mountain lizard?
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: If he is from the 20th century, you couldn't keep me away. All right. Do you have any idea where he's being held captive?
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: My informant say he's being held on Aldebaran 2, somewhere outside the capital city of Barony.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Aldebaran 2. Terrific. Another visit to the Barbary Coast of space. You know the last time I was there I was almost killed?
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: Me too. Great place, isn't it?
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: This trip is gonna be a whole lotta fun.
- Koren: The entertainment discs you wanted.
- Hieronymous Fox: Koren, you got the manners of a sand squid.
- Koren: I try.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Mr. President, are you all right?
- Hieronymous Fox: Uh, before I answer that, whose side are you on?
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Yours. Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate. How did you get away from Zale?
- Hieronymous Fox: Nothing to it. I just did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Well, I guess I'm a little late.
- Hieronymous Fox: Nope. You're just in time. Now, my bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran. She and somebody named Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place right now.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Buck?
- Hieronymous Fox: Yeah, and if we don't we don't get back there and help them, they're both gonna get wasted. You know what "wasted" means?
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Yes. I've heard the term.
- Dr. Elias Huer: Well, what do you think?
- Dr. Theopolis: I believe Colonel Deering and Captain Rogers have the situation well in hand.
- Twiki: He also believes in the Easter bunny.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: You know, Hieronymous, I'm going to be real sorry to see you go back to Genesia. You're the first person I've met from my own time. Probably the last.
- Twiki: He's sure the shortest.
- Hieronymous Fox: You wanna say that again, transistor face?
- Twiki: [chirping]
- Hieronymous Fox: What did he say?
- Dr. Theopolis: He was apologizing, Mr. President.
- Twiki: No, I wasn't.
- Dr. Theopolis: Oh, yes, you were. Do you want to start an interstellar incident? Do you want the the blood of thousands on your pincers?
- Hieronymous Fox: Maybe he slipped back under his rock.
- Koren: Shut up or so help me I'll kill you right here and now.
- Hieronymous Fox: [on Wilma] I think she might have something to say about that.
- Koren: That one is almost as old as you are.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: [stuns him] Old but true, Mr. Koren.
- Hieronymous Fox: Mighty nice shootin', Colonel.
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: I'm sorry, Hieronymous. It's all my fault.
- Hieronymous Fox: Don't - Don't blame yourself. Just... do me a favor, will you? When you keel over, try not to fall on me.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: It's a tree.
- Dr. Theopolis: Not quite, Colonel. It's a Ficus decora, commonly known as a rubber plant.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Yeah. Isn't it beautiful? I had to go to three hydroponics labs to find one.
- Twiki: [chirping] Somebody wanna take this thing?
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Sorry, Twiki. There we are.
- [sets plant on the desk]
- Dr. Elias Huer: Well, I'm extremely touched, Buck, but I don't think I'd know how to take proper care of such a thing.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Oh, it's a snap, Doc. You just water it twice a week and feed it once a month. It'll grow on you.
- Dr. Elias Huer: That's just what I'm afraid of.
- Roderick Zale: Greetings, Mr. President. My name is...
- Hieronymous Fox: Your name is Roderick Zale. Your specialty is political abduction, and your modus operandi sticks out like a sore thumb. Half the galaxy probably knows you're the one who snatched me.
- Roderick Zale: You're as perceptive as I was told.
- Hieronymous Fox: How much you askin' for?
- Roderick Zale: A reasonable price. Six thousand kilograms of pure quadrillium.
- Hieronymous Fox: [snickers] Ain't know way the Genesians are gonna cough up that much loot, pal. I don't even think we got that much quadrillium on the whole planet.
- Roderick Zale: Then they better find it somewhere or within a week, their technological miracle worker will die.
- Hieronymous Fox: Aw, come on, Zale. I'm worth more to you alive than dead any day of the week. Even if the Genesians don't pay up, you can make a fortune selling my brains to the highest bidder. So don't give me any of that Dr. Doom jive. You better take pretty good care of me if you know what's good for you, starting right now.
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: A child's life is at stake. He might be a genius, but he's still a little boy.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: [since cows are extinct...] Where did you get the meat?
- Hieronymous Fox: [... mountain lizard in that chili everybody ate!] You don't wanna know!
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: But you must help me. The President's life depends on it.
- Dr. Elias Huer: You're the boy's bodyguard, eh?
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: Yes. Though, apparently, not enough of one.
- [shakes her head]
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: I failed him once, I won't fail him again!
- Dr. Elias Huer: [nods] Lieutenant... uh... for years, Genesisia has shunned diplomatic relationships with Earth, we have no treaty with your government. Therefore we cannot interfere in the affairs of a sovereign planet.
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: [shakes her head] My government doesn't even know that I've come to you. When I heard that you turned down their formal request for aid, I thought that a personal request might be more effective.
- [Huer smiles benignly]
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: A child's life is at stake here. He may be a genius, but he is still a little boy!
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Lieutenant, if we could help you, we would. Our hands are tied.
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: I see.
- [nods]
- Lieutenant Dia Cyrton: Well, thank you for seeing me, I'll just have to fend for myself. Good day.
- [turns around sharply, then leaves]