Blackadder the Third (TV Series)
Sense and Senility (1987)
Rowan Atkinson: Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince
Photos
Quotes
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Mossop : ...lest you continue in your quotations and mention the name of the "Scottish Play".
Keanrick : Oh-ho... never fear, I shan't do that.
Blackadder : By the "Scottish Play", I assume you mean *Macbeth*.
Mossop , Keanrick : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Blackadder : What was that?
Keanrick : We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name of the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder : What, *Macbeth*?
Mossop , Keanrick : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Blackadder : Good lord, you mean you have to do *that* every time I say *Macbeth*?
Mossop , Keanrick : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Mossop : Will you please stop saying *that*. Always call it the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder : So you want me to say the "Scottish Play"?
Mossop , Keanrick : [shout] Yes.
Blackadder : Rather than *Macbeth*?
Mossop , Keanrick : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Prince George : For heaven's sake, what is all this hullabaloo, all this shouting and screaming and yelling blue murder? Why... it's like that play we saw the other day, what was it called... umm...
Blackadder : *Macbeth*, sir?
Mossop , Keanrick : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They are bowing toward the Prince, and must tweak their own noses]
Prince George : No, no, it was called Julius Caesar.
Blackadder : Ah, yes, of course. Julius Caesar... not *Macbeth*.
Mossop , Keanrick : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
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Blackadder : They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.
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Blackadder : Baldrick, I would like to say how much I will miss your honest and friendly companionship.
Baldrick : Aaahh, thank you Mr. B.
Blackadder : But as we both know, it'll be an utter lie. I will therefore confine myself to saying simply, "Sod off," and if I ever meet you again, it'll be twenty billion years too soon.
Baldrick : Goodbye, you lazy big-nosed, rubber-faced bastard.
Blackadder : I fear, Baldrick, that you will soon be eating those badly chosen words. I wouldn't bet you a single groat that you can survive five minutes here without me.
Baldrick : Oh come on, Mr. B., it's not as though we're gonna get murdered or anything the minute you leave, is it?
Blackadder : Hope springs eternal, Baldrick.
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Mossop : ...Lest you continue in your quotation and mention the name of the Scottish Play.
Keanrick : Oh, never fear, I shan't do that.
Blackadder : By "the Scottish Play," I assume you mean Macbeth?
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop , Keanrick : Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Blackadder : What was that?
Keanrick : We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name of the Scottish Play.
Blackadder : What, Macbeth?
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop , Keanrick : Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Blackadder : Good Lord, you mean you have to do that every time I say Macbeth?
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop , Keanrick : Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Mossop : Will you please stop saying that? Always call it the Scottish Play!
Blackadder : So you want me to say "the Scottish Play"...
Mossop , Keanrick : [shouting] Yes!
Blackadder : ...rather than Macbeth.
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop , Keanrick : Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
Prince George : I say, what is all this hullaballoo, all this shouting and screaming and yelling blue murder? Why, it's like that play we saw the other day. What was it called, uh...?
Blackadder : Macbeth, sir?
[Playing patty-cake with themselves]
Mossop , Keanrick : Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[as they are still bowing to the prince, each tweaks his own nose]
Prince George : No, no, no, no, it was called Julius Caesar.
Blackadder : Oh, yes, of course. Julius Caesar. Not Macbeth.
[Playing patty-cake]
Mossop , Keanrick : Hot potato, orchestra stalls, Puck will make amends!
[They each tweak the other's nose]
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Baldrick : My uncle Baldrick was in a play once.
Blackadder : Really?
Baldrick : Yeah, it was called Macbeth.
Blackadder : And what did he play?
Baldrick : Second codpiece. Macbeth wore him in the fight scenes.
Blackadder : So he was a stunt codpiece.
Baldrick : [Baldrick nods] Yes.
Blackadder : Did he have a large part?
Baldrick : Depends who was playing Macbeth.
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Blackadder : Gentlemen, I've come with a proposition.
Mossop : How dare you, sir. You think just because we're actors, we sleep with everyone.
Blackadder : I think, being actors, you're lucky to sleep with anyone.
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Blackadder : Disease and deprivation stalk our land like... two giant stalking things.
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Prince George : I must say, Blackadder, that was a close shave. Why would an anarchist possibly want to kill you?
Blackadder : Actually, I think it's you he was trying to kill, sir.
Prince George : Oh hogwash. How could you possibly think that?
Blackadder : Well my suspicions were first aroused by his use of the words "death to the stupid prince".
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Keanrick : Why, your very posture tells me, "Here is a man of true greatness."
Blackadder : Either that or "Here are my genitals, please kick them."
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[explaining to the prince why the "oppressed masses" are so worked up]
Blackadder : They are worked up, sir, because they are so poor that they are forced to have children as a cheap alternative to turkey at Christmas.
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Baldrick : You look smart, Mr Blackadder. Going somewhere nice?
Blackadder : No. I'm off to the theatre.
Baldrick : Don't you like it then?
Blackadder : No I don't. A lot of stupid actors strutting around shouting, with their chests thrust out so far you'd think their nipples were attached to a pair of charging elephants. And the worst thing about it is having to go with Prince Mini-Brain!
Baldrick : What, doesn't he like it either?
Blackadder : Oh, no. He loves it. The problem is he doesn't realise it's made up.
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Blackadder : Shoo, Baldrick! Carry on with your cleaning elsewhere. And by the end of tonight, I want that dining table so clean I could eat my dinner off it.
-
[Blackadder and the Price are going to the theater]
Blackadder : Last year when we went to see 'Julius Caesar', just as Brutus was about to stab Caesar the Prince cried out, "Look behind you, Mr. Caesar!"
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Prince George : Are you sure we can even trust these acting fellows, Blackadder? Last time we went to the theater three of them murdered Julius Caesar. And one of them was his best friend, Brutus!
Blackadder : As I have told you about eight times, the man playing Julius Caesar was an actor called Kemp.
Prince George : Really?
Blackadder : Yes?
Prince George : Thundering gherkins! Well, Brutus must have been pretty miffed when he found out!
Blackadder : What?
Prince George : That he hadn't killed Caesar after all, just some poxy actor called Kemp! What do you think he did, go 'round to Caesar's place after the play and kill him then?
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Blackadder : [after Baldrick finds out about the "plot" to kill Prince George, Blackadder leaves him, telling him he might not cope more than five minutes without him, and places a bet] Four minutes, twenty-two seconds. Baldrick, you owe me a groat!
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Prince George : [shouting from upstairs] Come on, Blackadder, we'll miss the first act!
Blackadder : [shouts up] Coming sir, as fast as I can!
Blackadder : [sitting in his chair] Stick the kettle on, Baldrick.
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Anarchist : Right, everybody out! Smash the Spinning Jenny! Burn the Rolling Rosalind! Destroy the Going-up-and-down-a-bit-and-then-moving-along Gertrude! And death to the stupid Prince who grows fat on the profits!
[he tosses a lit bomb to the Prince]
Prince George : I say, how exciting! This play's getting better and better! Bravo! Bravo!
Blackadder : It's not a play anymore, sir. Put the bomb down and make your way quietly to the exit.
Prince George : Blackadder, you old thing, your problem is you can't tell when something's real and when it's not!
[the bomb explodes]
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Blackadder : The criminal's vanity always makes them make one tiny but fatal mistake. Theirs was to have their entire conspiracy printed and published in plain manuscript.
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Blackadder : [after being insulted by the prince] All I can say is he'd better watch out. One more foot wrong and the contract between us, will be as broken as this milk jug.
[Blackadder picks up a milk jug]
Baldrick : But that milk jug isn't broken.
Blackadder : You really do walk into these things don't you?
[Blackadder breaks the milk jug on Baldrick's head to prove his point]
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Blackadder : Actors are very superstitious. On no account mention the word "Macbeth" this evening, alright?
Baldrick : Why not?
Blackadder : It brings them bad luck, and it makes them very unhappy.
Baldrick : Oh. So you won't be mentioning it either?
Blackadder : No. Well, not very often.
[Blackadder sips his tea]
-
Mossop : ...lest you continue in your quotations and mention the name of the "Scottish Play".
Keanrick : Oh-ho... never fear, I shan't do that.
Blackadder : By the "Scottish Play", I assume you mean *Macbeth*.
Keanrick , Mossop : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Blackadder : What was that?
Keanrick : We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name of the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder : What, *Macbeth*?
Keanrick , Mossop : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Blackadder : Good lord, you mean you have to do *that* every time I say *Macbeth*?
Keanrick , Mossop : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owwww.
Mossop : Will you please stop saying *that*. Always call it the "Scottish Play".
Blackadder : So you want me to say the "Scottish Play"?
Keanrick , Mossop : [shout] Yes.
Blackadder : Rather than *Macbeth*?
Keanrick , Mossop : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
Prince George : For heaven's sake, what is all this hullabaloo, all this shouting and screaming and yelling blue murder? Why... it's like that play we saw the other day, what was it called... umm... Blackadder
Blackadder : *Macbeth*, sir?
Keanrick , Mossop : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They are bowing toward the Prince, and must tweak their own noses]
Keanrick , Mossop : . Owwwwww.
Prince George : No, no, it was called Julius Caesar. Ah, yes, of course. Julius Caesar... not *Macbeth*.
Keanrick , Mossop : Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends.
[They tweak each others nose]
-
Baldrick : My uncle Baldrick was in a play once.
Blackadder : Really?
Baldrick : Yeah, it was called "Macbeth".
Blackadder : And what did he play?
Baldrick : Second codpiece. Macbeth wore him in the fight scenes.
Blackadder : So he was a stunt codpiece?
Baldrick : Yeah.
Blackadder : Did he have a large part?
Baldrick : [a brief silence] Depends who was playing Macbeth.
