- Bernard: [gibbering] They'd all laugh at me if they knew what I was trying to do... to create a new strain of super-wine in a half an hour with a fraction of nature's resources and a FOOL for an assistant. "Bernard Black, he's mad," they'd say. "He's insane. He's dangerous." Well I'll show them! I'll show them all!
- Fran: I've got a date. Ben, divorcee, very good-looking... nice arse. Which is a first for me.
- Bernard: Never had a nice one?
- Fran: No, never. And I know they exist because I've seen them on the telly. You had one?
- Bernard: Well, there was this one woman, Janine. I don't know if it was "nice", but it was... huge! So there was this enormous sense of value.
- Manny: The way he's captured the look-the way the cow's looking over there and we can't see what the cow's seeing. You know maybe the artist's saying cows know something... we don't.
- Abbott: There is a prophesy that grapes grown from the thorn of a rose can make a wine suitable for the Holy Father himself!