- Samantha Stephens: Darrin, do you love me?
- Darrin Stephens: No.
- [Samantha is mad]
- Darrin Stephens: I mean, yes, I love you but no, I won't do what you want me to do when you say "Darrin, do you love me?".
- Darrin Stephens: [Eva hits on Darrin on the couch] Umm, ha, Eva, Eva, please. I'm a married man
- Eva: I know.
- Samantha Stephens: [to Uncle Arthur] While I better take care of that.
- Eva: That's what makes you so interesting.
- Darrin Stephens: While, Eva...
- [Eva turn back into a cat, Darrin shows a shocked expression]
- Eva: RATS!
- Samantha Stephens: [pick up cat Eva] He HE, Exactly. Go chase a few.
- [puts cat Eva down]
- Endora: 'Twas the night before Halloween, and all who were chic were sipping champagne...
- Uncle Arthur: They'd been stoned for a week.
- Endora: The witches and warlocks in Rome by the score, with their ladies attired in their best by Dior...
- Uncle Arthur: Checking their warts as they came through the door.
- Endora: And the odd little mortals all snug in their beds, while visions of trick-or-treat danced in their heads. Our children were practicing spells and their chants...
- Uncle Arthur: And even the poltergeists pulled off their pants.
- Endora: I had it! Do you hear me, Arthur? I had it!
- [places Arthur onto the fountain as its statue as punishment for mocking Endora's narration]
- Councilman Green: John, I tell you, this Kravitz woman is a triple-A kook.
- Morgan: And I tell you, Councilman, if it's one thing you better learn about American politics, it's that kooks vote.