- Elly May Clampett: Would you take this here fur coat?
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: Your mink? For keeps?
- Elly May Clampett: I sure would appreciate it. It makes my friends in the woods kinda skittish. They reckon I'll be wearing them next.
- Daisy Moses: You know where my mink coat is right now?
- Jed Clampett: Where?
- Daisy Moses: In the top of a tree, full a baby eagles.
- Jed Clampett: Now Granny.
- Daisy Moses: Their mama and me fought nigh over ten minutes for that coat, but with them claws on her, she could get a better purchase on it.
- Jethrine Bodine: [from Cousin Pearl's song for the chariot race scene from "Ben Hur"] A mighty long time ago, a couple a thousand year, in a town named Rome, which is fur away from here, a feller named Ben Hur lived and went to school, and that young feller was a chariat-drivin' fool.
- John Brewster: You say your grandfather built this cabin?
- Jed Clampett: He sure did.
- John Brewster: Well he must have been a remarkable man.
- Jed Clampett: He sure was. He finished the cabin in the mornin', went to town, found a girl, courted her, married her, and carried her across that doorstep all before sundown. Tell me Granny, was that eighteen and ninety-seven or eighteen and ninety-eight?
- Daisy Moses: Eighteen and ninety-eight.
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, that's right. She was 18 and Grandpa was 98.
- John Brewster: You say he was 98 and his bride was 18?
- Jed Clampett: That's right, marriage didn't work out too good.
- John Brewster: I don't doubt it.
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, Grandpa made the mistake of havin' his Ma come live with them.
- Daisy Moses: Then what I call my Heavenly Hash, that's grits, chitlins, possum belly, hog jowls, and catfish, all minced together and simmered in gopher gravy, topped with poached hawk eggs.
- Jed Clampett: Mmm mmm, now there's vittles you won't forget in a hurry.
- John Brewster: I'll try.
- Daisy Moses: I still don't mind sharin' a bed with Elly May, but I draw the line when it comes to sharin' with them others.
- Jed Clampett: What others?
- Daisy Moses: Well there was a owl, and a squirrel, a crow, and a fox, a possum, and a skunk, and a porkypine.
- Jethrine Bodine: [from Cousin Pearl's song for the chariot race scene from "Ben Hur"] Don't let that other rascal get ahead a you, or he'll win the race and that'll never do.
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: Grandpa wasn't a day over 90 when he married that girl and his Ma didn't bust up the marriage. That poor little bride just wore out havin' so many young'uns to take care of.