The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Drysdale and Friend (1969)

J. Pat O'Malley: Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson

Quotes 

• Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Is that the degenerate criminal I had to give up my fishin' trip for just when the bass started bitin'?

• Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : You're in contempt of court just from the way you look.

  Milburn Drysdale : It's not my fault. I didn't sleep a wink last night. They were building a scaffold outside my cell.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Yeah, we gonna hang that big city banker that ran off with my wife.

  Milburn Drysdale : Hang him? Why?

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : He brought her back.

• Sheriff Pete Ragsdale : Sorry about the delay, your honor, but the bear got loose and treed your wife.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Was that Phoebe he chased up a tree?

  Sheriff Pete Ragsdale : Yes, your honor, and I'm afraid she's still up there.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : [to Mr. Drysdale]  How much you want for that bear?

• Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : What else is this hobo charged with?

  Bailiff : Transportin' moonshine.

  [puts a jug on the Judge's bench] 

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Smells like Tennessee Tranquilizer.

  Daisy Moses : You got a good nose on you, Judge. That's just what it is.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Who are you?

  Daisy Moses : I'm her Granny and I made that stuff you're sniffin'.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : You may approach the bench.

  [whispers to Granny] 

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : How would you like to go fishin' too?

  Daisy Moses : Can I take Elly and her bear with us?

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : I insist on it.

  Daisy Moses : It's a deal.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Bailiff, is there any more of this here evidence?

  Bailiff : Yes, your honor, 3 jugs.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : I want it all impounded on my boat. Court's adjourned.

• Jed Clampett : Your honor, Mr. Drysdale is a real good friend of ours. I can vouch for his character.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : If I was to turn him loose, is he the kind of a banker that would run off with my wife?

  Jed Clampett : Naw, he wouldn't do nuthin' like that.

  Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson : Well, in that case, we might as well take him fishin' with us. Prisoner is sentenced to cut bait.