The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Double Naught Jethro (1965)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jethro Bodine : Uncle Jed, get a hold a yourself. I got some bad news for ya.

  Jed Clampett : What is it, boy?

  Jethro Bodine : I hope this ain't gonna break your heart, but I just gotta say it.

  Jethro Bodine : Well come on, get it over with.

  Jethro Bodine : Uncle Jed, I decided I ain't gonna be a brain surgeon.

  Jed Clampett : Well I reckon I can bear up under that.

• Jed Clampett : You one of them double naught spies?

  Mabel Slocum : No.

  Jethro Bodine : They number girl spies different. She's what you call a 36-23-36.

  Mabel Slocum : Actually, I'm in new accounts at the Merchants Bank. I'd like to talk to you about using our facilities as a repository for some of your enormous reserves.

  Jed Clampett : Well I'll be glad to talk to you about that a whatever it means.

• Jethro Bodine : As long as your workin' on the shoes, would you mind hollowin' out the heel so I can put a little radio in it?

  Jed Clampett : A radio in the heel of your shoe?

  Jethro Bodine : Yes sir, that's where Double Naught Seven carries his.

  Jed Clampett : That seems like a mighty unhandy place to carry it. Why don't he just carry it in his pocket?

  Jethro Bodine : Well he... I can't tell you that.

  Jed Clampett : Secret, huh?

  Jethro Bodine : No sir, I just ain't sure.

• Jethro Bodine : There's somethin' I'm gonna need right away and that's iron for my hat.

  Jed Clampett : Iron for your hat?

  Jethro Bodine : Yes sir. There was this fella in the movie that had a iron hat. He kept throwin' it at Double Naught Seven.

  Jed Clampett : What fer?

  Jethro Bodine : Tryin' to kill him.

  Jed Clampett : Why didn't he just shoot him?

  Jethro Bodine : I can't tell you that neither.

• Jethro Bodine : Doggone it, Uncle Jed, I bet you ol' Double Naught Seven wouldn't let nobody swat him on the seat of his britches and send him runnin' for beans and fatback.

  Jed Clampett : Ol' Double Naught Seven ain't never run into Granny.

• Jethro Bodine : Listen, Uncle Jed, can I get me a spy car?

  Jed Clampett : What's a spy car?

  Jethro Bodine : Oh, wait till you hear about that rascal! It's got a top that flies off and a seat that if you set in it, it throws you from here to yonder, and it drops oil on the road so a feller followin' you will skid, and it shoots out smoke so he can't see.

  Jed Clampett : Sounds a heap like the truck.