- Daisy Moses: And there's Elly May, with the prettiest figure that ever came outta the hills.
- Jed Clampett: That's the truth. She got more curves than a goat path.
- Jed Clampett: Forget for a minute that you're Elly May's cousin. Now speakin' as just a young feller, whose figure would you pick? Miss Jane's or Elly May's?
- Jethro Bodine: Well, Miss Jane's.
- Jed Clampett: Why?
- Jethro Bodine: Heck fire, if I had Elly's figure, I'd look like a girl!
- Jane Hathaway: A pretty face and a shapely figure are no longer the key to romance.
- Janet Trego: [smiling slyly] Well, they must have changed the locks since last night.
- Jed Clampett: Only one thing can make a girl forget a boy. That's another boy.
- Daisy Moses: You got one in mind, Jed?
- Jed Clampett: That movie studio of mine is crawlin' with 'em.
- Daisy Moses: Slitherin' is the word. Snakes in the grass, that's what them Hollywood actors is.
- Jed Clampett: [talking to Granny] Miss Jane's a fine woman, all right, got a good head on her shoulders. From there on down, she appears to've been shorted a mite.
- Daisy Moses: [Granny complains about Dash Riprock's treatment of Elly] Why, he struck like a serpent! Before poor, sweet, innocent Elly May knowed what had happened, he spied her, sparked her, spooned her and spurned her!