- Ambrosia, the Scottish schoolgirl: By Jings, she's not so smart./I mean take for a start,/you know what she said last week to my friend, Di?/"Are you readin' that paper you're sittin' on?" Di says, "Yes, Miss, I've just swallowed my glass eye."
- Ambrosia, the Scottish schoolgirl: The man showed us a leopard with 365 spots on, "One for each day of the year", he said./ I said, "What about leap year?" He said, "Arnold, lift its tail and show this girl the 29th of Feb."
- Ambrosia, the Scottish schoolgirl: Last week, Miss Potts caught me in the park. I was climbin' up a tree./She said, "If you fall down and break both your legs, don't come runnin' to me!"
- Ambrosia, the Scottish schoolgirl: She says, "Does anyone here know what a boycott is?" I said, "Aye, it's a bed for a wee laddie."
- Benny Hill: I like your bust.
- Jenny Lee Wright: You mustn't say that!
- Benny Hill: Why not? It's true. Of all the girl I meet in London, I like you bust.
- Jenny Lee Wright: Oh, best.
- Benny Hill: Oh?
- Jenny Lee Wright: Best.
- Benny Hill: Best is more good. Well, well, well, Learning all the time... What is bust?
- Benny Hill: I shall go across the park now to the café and have fish and chips.
- Jenny Lee Wright: Oh, you like our fish and chips?
- Benny Hill: I hate your fish and chips, but that's the only thing I know how to order.
- Jenny Lee Wright: There are other things besides fish and chips. I mean, how about steak and kidney pudding? Try it. Steak and kidney pudding.
- Benny Hill: Kate and Sydney who?
- Jenny Lee Wright: Steak and kidney pudding.
- Benny Hill: Steak and kinky pudding?
- Jenny Lee Wright: No, no, steak and kidney pudding?
- Benny Hill: Steak and you're kidding me pudding?